Sam Schwartz

Sam Schwartz

[luck @johnwells__]

you stupid fucks complained about a demented 80 year old man being president for 4 years then elected a demented 78 year old man to be president.

[justice @justicexlambiIy]

me next time Florida has a Hurricane:

[katya @EhresmanKatya]

Don't forget to leave milk & cookies out for him tonight.

[gill @contactabrother]

me and the girls getting drunk and doing one of these bad boys

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

in 2023 I’m taking a break from the dating apps and finding someone the old fashioned way: MTV’s room raiders.

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

@K1ERST3N This is homophobic slander

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

why does this Grindr ad look identical to a MUNA cover album down to the facial expressions

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

@Apple give me a rubber ducky emoji and nobody gets hurt

[Matt Lieb?? @mattlieb]

You 👏 don’t 👏 owe 👏 your 👏 new 👏 born 👏 baby 👏 any 👏 thing 👏

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

for someone who has it so often i should really know how to spell diahrea. diarhea. diarrhea!!!!

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

where the crawZadddyyyy sings

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

where do i submit my conspiracy theory that the grindr outages the last couple days are a government ploy to slow the spread of monkeypox and then where do i collect my prize for being correct

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

ppl going on runs in this weather what are you trying to prove

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

@Hwwhitaker @ARseeg yes i agree i think we’re all even now

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

y’all the constitution was made in literal philadelphia why do we even care

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

My face ID: 🫥🙂

Me: okkkkk but… do i look cuteeeee? 🥹😮‍💨🥲😭😓

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

Need to know what flavor cake was thrown at the Mona Lisa today

[🤔 @antikirsten]

me tweeting in 2020: the government is failing us and we have to hold them accountable !!!!!!

me tweeting in 2021: there is no god

me tweeting in 2022: i think squirrels would really fuck with ketamine

[Sam Schwartz @sbschwartz1024]

anyone know if health insurance covers conversion therapy ?