Terry Stain

Real estate broker by day, comedy writer by night. On weekends I eat a lot. Beware: I will break all chain letters.

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

.@RepCarbajal @SenFeinstein @AlexPadilla4CA, As a constituent, I ask you to support ending the federal #eviction moratorium that is crippling the rental housing industry.

#EndtheMoratorium

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

@AsmMoniqueLimon PLEASE VOTE NO ON AB 1905!!!!

Please do not limit mortgage interest deductibility on primary residences/abolish the mortgage interest deduction for second homes! Why--whenever something needs fixing--do politicians immediately steal money from hardworking, middl

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

@VermonsterWx @NWSAlbany Are all the flakes staying 6 feet apart?

[Freddie Walker @onelinerguy57]

“I love the way you carry yourself”, #quasimodo. #HunchbackOfNotreDame

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

@MissAmyWebber Hahahaha--just saw this! Funny, Ames!

[Freddie Walker @onelinerguy57]

I never liked #bands like #DeepPurple, #RedHotChiliPeppers & #PinkFloyd because I’m colorblind. #music

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

The sound of fire crackling, especially when it's the only thing drowning out the shaking of the earthquake, the rumble of the mudslide, and the water lapping at the side of your bed #WorstThingstoAwakenTo

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

#InsomniaMakesMe so mad I just wanna get up and sleep someone.

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

Don't say where you heard it, but the cat in 31-C is selling fake 'nip. #ShelterAnimalMessages

[Suzette @EstopSuzie]

Why did anyone inform me that that Drax was gunna be in Wrestlemania

[Freddie Walker @onelinerguy57]

i saw a #school of toothless piranha #fish. It must have been the meth. Or bad #dental hygiene!

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

@commielion @JoeBiden We all have.

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

#IsItJustMe or do we need a new superhero whose power is the ability to keep track of all the Marvel movies?

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

#ItsNotAMancaveWithout at least one drunkenly-thrown dart stuck in someone's forehead.

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

#NowYouDidntHearItFromMe, but I'm not good at keeping secrets.

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

#EverybodyWantsTo be rich but they don’t want to have to work for it.

I admire that kind of thinking.

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

Always wear long pants. #LifeIsTooShortSo

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

I honestly thought I could get away with it. #PoorExcusesForBadBehavior

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

Why did I tweet this? #GettingOlderIn5Words

[Terry Stain @scaledog]

#ImLikeThisBecause nobody else had the same lack of specific qualifications.