Joshua Schaefer

Foodie, hair extraordinaire

[Diamond Classic @_DiamondClassic]

Congratulations Haslett! You’ve been selected to play in the 64th Dean Shippey Capital Diamond Classic. #Classic64

@haslettbaseball

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

I saw someone at the gym that I immediately wanted to fight. Turns out it was just my reflection

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

The scene in the matrix where the robots block out the sun, that's how the Midwest feels in the winter

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

How great was my vacation? So great that I can't remember any of my work-passwords

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

I had no idea my body was capable of producing this much mucus

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

Pro tip: Give your spouse alcohol before playing Jeopardy in order to defeat them

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

I need Predator vision in order to see the #Steelers and #Browns game

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

Eating an Almond Joy is equivalent to eating a booger; nobody wants to be seen doing it and we all know it's disgusting

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

Whoever wanted daylight saving time to end was probably a Yankees fan

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

This @tigers's season needs to be made into a movie #ALDS

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

My prayer before installing the new company printer, "Dear God, please forgive me for the sins I am about to commit"

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

Fun fact: Mondays are actually 30 hours long

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

Fun fact: Mondays are actually 30 hours long

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

On the bright side at least all of the former Rite Aid stores will become Spirit Halloween stores

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

As a kid it took a few seconds to recover from a rollercoaster ride. In my mid 40s it takes 3-5 business days #CedarPoint

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

Wow, that's cheap - Me at Whole Foods the day after buying food at Cedar Point

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

ADs when scheduling high school baseball

Start the game(s) before anyone is done with work
Schedule games during the workweek when everyone is busy
Avoid Friday nights when people are more likely to attend

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

Me watching the @tigers:

Do we have great hitting? No
But do we make up for it with great pitching? Also, no

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

@hotchickendaves Me trying to act tough

[Joshua Schaefer @schaefjl]

I guess I can no longer say I don't win anything. I just scored tickets to see the Savannah Bananas in Indianapolis @TheSavBananas