Hank Showers

Morally corrupt bitch (she/her)

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Might fuck around and get married

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Would love a big strong (competent) daddy (employer) to show me how it’s done (pay me fairly and give me a lot of pto).

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Can’t tolerate being this hot every single day. Gets fucking exhausting.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

I had a redbull last night. Stayed up with nightmares. And now I’m back on twitter. It’s 2019 again.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Y'all please I could fix HER. Taylor swift baby I can help you.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Had a bad day and about to see if spending $50 for a t shirt makes it better

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Started telling people I game when actually I just found the CD for Age of Empires II and have been dedicating my Thursday nights to conquering the world via a circa 2000 PC game.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

@sarahschauer I too... Brought up anal to far too many people last night (during a work happy hour)

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Can you just tell people you do ****??

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Just saw Madonna came out. Guess this means global warming is finally over.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Been having a suspicious amount of work life balance lately 🤔

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

I'm about to start off a text with "listen, I don't mean to be harsh" and I will be being harsh.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

If they put miniature needles in the trader Joe's dark chocolate peanut butter cups. I would still eat every. single. one.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Dating a therapist is all fun and games until she looks at you while you're watching tik toks and says "what's your conscious social media intake going to be like for today"

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Hello Twitter. Here to remind everyone I am only getting hotter and bustier with age

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

@bananafitz See id probably have a really good and sexy response to this if I read your book ...instead I'm flabbergasted and I'll await it's release in the US.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

@bananafitz Ok well have you ever tried buying your book at my local book shop and them being like I'm sorry this sex book you wanted is only available in canada and then me being like I'm sorry I didn't know and them being like are you just a little gay whore and me being like yeah I guess.

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Would anybody like to give me $86,000 to buy the Rivian electric truck with a built in camping stove and 500 miles of battery life 🙂🙂

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

@jcolman American Gods by Neil Gaiman

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Am I exhausted and burnt out or are my glasses just the wrong prescription?

[Hank Showers @schauer_me]

Anyways I've been doing more drugs and it's been SAVING ME MONEY??