diabolical bird on potty chair

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to wear many hats

[Jack Schlossberg @JBKSchlossberg]

THE OPEN ROAD !!

Our culture has LOST TOUCH with the open road.

We’re too obsessed with flight. From 30k feet, somehow we lose perspective…

Air travel ? every man for himself, no sense of community.

Open road ? make a friend…have a laugh…adventure…. magic… all yours…

[Pandy Fackler ❄️ @ThatBrenna]

I'm often mistaken for an adult because of my age

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

Wonder if I can get my umbilical cord back. To drink beer faster

[(doctor) Alex Grease @dodgonkulator]

doctor: are you sexually active?

me: no I usually just lie there 😜🤙

doctor (writing in my chart): effortlessly witty....and quite beautiful, I might add

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

@DylanIsChillN Wrong. They also gave me a free water bottle (16 oz bag) 😀

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

Me after a successful parallel park

[jame @kloogans]

[pulling my massive penis behind me in a wagon as i walk] i am in so much pain

[Harry Hill @veryharryhill]

Is there gonna be an estate sale

[Dr. Meatball @meatballworld]

If I had a penis I would use it for good and not evil

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

Diabolical bird on potty chair

[weird medieval guys NEW BOOK OUT NOVEMBER 5!!! @WeirdMedieval]

a light snack, netherlands, ca. 15th century

[… @lurkmenistan69]

social media: look! everyone is in italy and is happier than you :) maybe you should kill yourself

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

@futureMlLF69 Facts

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

Pride and prejudice ruined my life

[SJ @sarahjannetti_]

oh you looove to tweet? what r u a fucking bird

[diabolical bird on potty chair @schmistee]

🔪🔪🤮😭

[amanda @amandabb__]

WASH YOUR WATER BOTTLE