Matt Schmitt

Space robots and music. And I’m the funniest person I know.

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

Idk why twitter showed me this but if you really wanna see how many bots are on this app go read all the non sense answers to this “math test”

[DataRepublican (small r) @DataRepublican]

No cheating. Here's a simple math test for you.

A traveler must make a 60-mile round trip between two towns, Aliceville and Bobtown. The distance each way is 30 miles. Going from Aliceville to Bobtown, the traveler drives at exactly 30 miles per hour. By the time they reach Bobtown, they decide they want to average 60 miles per hour for the entire 60-mile journey.

Question: How fast must they drive on the return trip from Bobtown to Aliceville to achieve an overall average of 60 mph?

[Non-Ironically T.V.'s B. Dave Walters - EVERYWHERE @BDaveWalters]

So @Mythic__Rogue managed to include absolutely everything I am in a single meme

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

@EveStreetTTV Coward

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

put him on hot ones and my man denethor would absolutely destroy those wings in the most disgusting way possible. must see tv. also scarring for life.

[Jenni @hashjenni]

They tell you "i would never do that to you" and then they do it with remix

[Keifer @DannyVegito]

for $3500 you can get shinigami eyes for pasta

[natasha @imniceandsmart]

Whenever I catch a whiff of Auntie Anne’s cinnamon sugar pretzel bites in the mall I get lifted up off of my feet and float towards the shop like a cartoon character smelling a pie on a windowsill

[Classical Studies Memes @CSMFHT]

I had a joke about Orpheus and Euridyce, but looking back it was a bad idea

[libby @evenstvr]

“i would peel oranges for you” but would you watch the lord of the rings extended editions back to back with me?

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

Wtf could you possibly have to tell me

[jenny_tightpants🪑 @halomancer1]

house would win. idc if they're supposed to be on the same team. house would still win

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

Crazy how brutal the holiday season can be without your people. Glad it’s over but makes me appreciate the good ones a lot more.

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

I don’t watch football but can tell how well the jets are doing based solely on the screaming coming from my living room

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

Went through my Twitter drafts for the first time in years, so I’m reviving my Twitter. Warning though it’s all shitposting and sadboi tweets 🤍

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

Essentially the plot of dream scenario

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

@GraysonArndt Is the dude jordan

[felicity shagwell ੯‧̀͡⬮ ᡣ𐭩 @liIpochaco]

every week i’m like “Maybe i’ll make an instagram post today” and then four more months go by

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

Steven and I are very unified in our survivor thoughts typically but we’re finally a house divided after this week. What we can agree on was that this was Jeff’s episode, no questions at this time.

[Matt Schmitt @Schmitty_0]

Yes this is a survivor fan page now