brifunnypants

DOLLA DOLLA BILLZ YA'LL

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

Can’t lose if there’s lightning #Hawkeyes @WideRtNattyLt

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

@jimmyfallon Serial killer seeks vengeance for puppy #johnWick #describeamoviebadly

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

@NFLonFOX fix your broadcast. It is ridiculous that we pay to watch a channel that constantly has audio and video cutting out.

[John Legend @johnlegend]

Please don't make this foul mouthed hashtag trend #PresidentPussyAssBitch

[Allen Lazard 👑 @AllenLazard]

These cameraman for the ISU game have legit missed the play at least 3 times...

[Abigail Delaney @abigaildelaney_]

So I went to a model home showing showing today and they placed pictures of @chrissyteigen and her family in the master bedroom and honestly if I had the money I’d buy it on the spot because of that

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

It’s vile.
It’s cowardly.
It’s xenophobic.
It’s racist.
It defiles the office of the President.
And I won't share it here.

It’s time to get Trump out of office and unite the country.

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

Not my type is now an excuse for rape? But, if she were your type, all systems go. Our president. Our Republicans who defend this man. Rape.

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

Takes baby. Meet at later bar. Night or day. Sometime.

[Charlie 👑🐀 @CharlieDayQuote]

SOCIAL EXPERIMENT: If you come across this tweet, reply with the first Always Sunny quote that comes to mind.

DO NOT read the replies before you do.

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

@purplemermaid25 @SapereBooks @SavingBooks @OBCaoimhe22 @KeaneKataria Omg when does book 3 come out! #hooked

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

I have to straighten my armpit hair so they don't stick out forward and backward and tickle me. @furry_chewbaca @HorseDoctors

[Owen Daniels @owendaniels]

Everyone should take a knee this Sunday and Monday.

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

#PepsiHalftime bring beyonce back #SB50 #SuperBowl

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

@pizzahut the grimes, Iowa location is ALWAYS the worst. Rude service, always 2-3 hours later than promised. So mad I can't put into words

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

@pizzahut 30 min delivery?more like 95 min. No thanks don't want cold Pizza. Cant find the house? We live 3 blocks away. #bullshitflag

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

Ahhhghhhhh. Do you ever feel the need to scream at work and you can't. #bossproblems

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

Husband is making me a drink.
H: I'm putting tequila in it.
Me: We have tequila?
Husband: Fireball. Close enough.

[brifunnypants @schmittylittle]

Fuss or muss? What is muss? Must be a Canadian intervention thing.