Commodore Schmidlapp

Self-proclaimed nachovore.

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@SeattleKraken @DavyJonesLR Let’s go!

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@DavidMoss That would be a dream vacation to take the slow route down and then the fast route back up on FSD.😎

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@PWHL__Seattle @HilaryKnight I guess we were just her one (k)night stand.😔

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@SeattleKraken @ClimateArena The Dunndertaker!

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@DirtyTesLa @WifeDirtyTesla @Tesla_AI Woo! 🥳🎉 Coast to coast freshwater edition!

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@DMC_Ryan @GerberKawasaki Mine will dip down to 58 on a 60mph stretch of freeway and hang out there for a while. I just got 14.3.3 this week.

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

When Tom shorten’s her name to just the first letter, does he pronounce it “Zee” since she’s American or “Zed” because he’s British? One of those feels much more cute than the other.

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Tom Holland says that his non-alcoholic beer brand BERO will release a shandy-style drinks range in honor of Zendaya.

“Zendaya, bless her, has never been a drinker, so she’s never drank beer. She didn’t love the beers we have on sale. The idea behind the shandies was to create something authentic at the company that Z could enjoy.”

(Source: https://t.co/IwKZIfNBpb)

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@PAKrakenFan @thathawksgirl Seconded!

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@DevinOlsenn Woo!

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@north0fnorth When the Sonics return, I believe Seattle will have all 5 within city limits. (It helps when the NFL and MLS share a field and the NHL and NBA will share an arena.)

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@DevinOlsenn @wholemars Voice note: “Funsies”

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@EmeraldCityHky How would you sell Seattle, THE CITY, to an upcoming free agent or traded player? Or, like, what's your favorite thing to do around town?

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@Ike_Saul Hey man, I'm not an expert by any means on this subject (that's why I like following you). I just think saying "it's good for democracy" has different implications than say, "this is our constitutional republic acting properly." Perhaps I'm getting too deep into semantics though.

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@Anamanaguchi Good to know that this isn't you guys

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@nursedanakay So Tesla is wide-releasing a version of FSD that makes folks want to use it less?

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@DevinOlsenn Still would be nice to be able to dismiss it entirely without giving any input (though Tesla doesn't seem to want us to do that), but this is now useable.

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

@SawyerMerritt Time for me to get my CDL!

[Commodore Schmidlapp @schmizzler]

I read this like a Bill Wurtz video.

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???