Schrute Stocks

Trying to invest wisely, day trade like a genius and retire young all while proving a sarcastic outlook on everything from Beets to Biden.

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@nsfwabby25 Jesus Christ I could fit my head in that thing. Why tf is this in my feed anyway

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@Ticketmaster spent an hour in the line this morning to get a ticket and then when I was finally number one in line the page refreshed and had nowhere to buy tickets and then it sent me to number 35,000 in the queue! @NoahKahan why use such a terrible service to sell tiks??

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@FedExHelp @FedEx your help line is USELESS. Where is my package? Sent overnight Wednesday!

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@timony001 Vaginas

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@mhdksafa Mind ya business bitch

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@dom_lucre 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@HiltonHotels @HiltonHonors This is who you’re hiring!!??? Hilton Garden Inn in Concord California. @BlazeTV @FoxNews @USGSA

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@tim_cook @Apple serious question: who’s paying you to ruin #ios? Worst I have ever used and I have owned every single #iPhone since the first on AT&T. This is just absolutely ridiculous how many bugs there still are and really shows that you don’t care about us!!

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@WakeUpPatriott Public Hanging!!!

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@GavinNewsom @GavinNewsom so you read the comments on these? Everyone hates you.

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@grant_union @UnderArmour someone from your company needs to take a real look at some of their games from this year, they were fighting the other players they were fighting the other coaches they were knocking players with no helmet.

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@grant_union Y’all are nothing but a bunch of fucking little thugs, the way you play is an absolute disgrace to the sport and those that came before you.

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@Emilio2763 This faggy guy needs to be banned from buying a firearm asap. @ATFHQ

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@FedEx @FedExHelp why do you hire such terrible people? #CharlieKirk @hodgetwins @CharliesMurder

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@GavinNewsom Literally can’t run in 2026…

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@CAgovernor @realDonaldTrump If you do bad things, we will also do bad things? That’s your threat?

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@kfc is it policy to fight a customer who is asking when their order will be ready?

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@AmericaPapaBear The kids will be right behind here don’t worry

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@Michele_Tafoya Does she bat with her dick?

[Schrute Stocks @SchruteStocks]

@Mayhem4Markets A national database of every American?? Wait until you find out about Social Security number and drivers license photos.