schuchinski

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

Sad that “fewer” has completely lost the war to “less.”

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

It’s great on game shows when they give a poor person a wave runner.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

@EllliotttB Lol

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So life now is group chats.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

Everybody else's moon has a name and our moon's just called "moon."

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

Must have been more difficult to have lived thousands of years ago but on the plus side it was possible to have an original idea.

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No idea why I receive the Steve Aoki newsletter and even less sure why I haven't unsubscribed.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

I never ever want to go to anything that's followed by a q and a.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

The media eats something and then we all watch it take a dump.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

"If you love something set it free If it comes back it was/always will be yours If it never returns it was never yours to be" is about McRib

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

Nice getting drought and flood alerts at once.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

I know how to solve this: I'll write my thoughts in the "comments" section.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

My only abusive relationship has been with yahoo mail.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

Halloween, or Reveal Who You Would Actually Like To Be Day

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

People treat actors like they're the ones that wrote it.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

People I have the hardest time living with in this world: People who buy and display a COEXIST bumper sticker

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My reaction to most commercials: Those people don't live in that house.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

High concept show title: Fat Lifeguard

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Sometimes I get really nervous and can't sleep at night because I cannot shake the thought that the Dumb and Dumber sequel will suck.

[schuchinski @schuchinski]

Writing tweets to 46 followers is like having a hidden diary only with fewer readers.