Meagan Schweickert

Its just that bird law in this country—its not governed by reason

[Jack @HoeannaNewsom]

Love Island UK is about the general public’s inability to handle a baddie when actually confronted with one and Love Island US is about the power of female friendship in the face of domestic terrorism

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[Nick Clairmont @NickClairmont1]

These Mormon Wives lead the least secret lives I’ve ever seen

[lez usbourne @SZSPIRIA]

I feel bad for that monkey but I lowkey have to focus on myself right now

[Judith Butler Bible Thumper @philosophysux]

i loooove dropping a "but that's neither here nor there" in casual conversation because it's like where tf is it then omg

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[SharpeShark @SharpeShark]

Are you doing your part?

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

I’m gonna build myself an atrium so spacious it’ll make your little foyer look like a vestibule

[ADHD Memes @ADHDForReal]

When I finally snap it'll be because I had to type my email address in on the tv.

[Cannie Oakley: Local Cryptid @Staceballs]

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

[✶ ✶ ✶ ✶ @chi_urbanist]

I’d settle for medium speed rail at this point

[Meagan Schweickert @Schweicks1]

My upstairs neighbors every night starting at 8pm

[Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel]

me as a detective: ok wait omg

[Meagan Schweickert @Schweicks1]

We have to have an honest conversation about bathroom attendants this has gone on long enough

[Meagan Schweickert @Schweicks1]

Great day for Midwesterners to find out which of their friends have window offices

[drew @drewrhyde]

“Stop bouncing your leg” girl, it’s either this or I start screaming

[bearwiitch @bearwiitch]

you just had to be there

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Props to just stopping in the middle of the grocery aisle. Personally never tried it, but it seems big.

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

i'll hand it to you this seems reasonable