Dad

I tell chemistry jokes, but only periodically

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Me: What’s a rabbit’s favorite blood vessel?
Son: What dad
Me: The carrot-id artery
#dadjokes #carrots

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Me: Hmmm I think I’ll reheat some leftover fried rice for dinner tonight.
My intestines: You can’t B. cereus!
#vomiting #heatstabletoxin #dadjoke

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Two blood cells fell in love. But alas, it was all in vein.

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Dad: What do you call a doctor that always brings get well cards to his patients?
Son: What dad
Dad: A cardiologist

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Me: What do you call a burger made using citrate and oxaloacetate?
Son: What dad
Me: A Krebby Patty
#sciencedad #krebcycle #jokes #biochem

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Dad: Why is DNA with palindromic repeats crunchier than DNA without palindromic repeats?
Son: why dad
Dad: Because it's CRISPR
#sciencejokes

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

A buddy of mine has rhabdomyolysis and now his kidneys aren't filtering myoglobin correctly #nofilter @neiltyson

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Me: What is Steve Job's favorite lab safety appliance?
Son: What dad
Me: The iWash
#science #humor #labsafety #dadjokes

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

I think I now have my Halloween costume idea #sciencedad #halloween #antibiotichumor #drugs #jokes

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

@austinpop With great puns, come great responsi-bull-ity

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

This dog is what the young folks these days are calling "hipster" #sciencedad #hip #hipster #humor #dog @cvnania

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Me: "Which celebrity eats the most leafy greens?"
Son: "idk"
Me: "Mindy Kale-ing"
#sciencedad #MindyKaling @TheMindyProject @mindykaling

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

I love Rihanna's song, Work = Force x distance

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Dad: "What do dinosaurs do to find love?"
Son: "What dad"
Dad: "Carbon dating"
#sciencedad #dadjokes #science #dinosaurs #funny

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

"Are you the particulate matter in my tailpipe? Cause you're ultrafine" #sciencedad

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

My son is taking geology this semester and he actually enjoys it. But of quartz he does, geology rocks! #sciencedad

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Me: "What do you call a formaldehyde on Fridays?"
Son: "What dad"
Me: "Casual-dehyde"

[Dad @sciencedadjokes]

Me: "What do you call a poop scientist?"
Son: "What dad"
Me: "A fecesist!"
#sciencedad