The Samamander

[The Samamander @sclyne23]

If I won the lottery I wouldn’t tell a soul but there would be signs

[Marc D'Amico @Marc_DAmico]

GIVE HIM THE EMMY RIGHT NOW

[Paul Scheer @paulscheer]

Truly enjoying these final hours believing my fantasy teams are unstoppable.

[😈 @turtlekiosk]

they banned me from the gun range because i kept practicing letting a single tear roll down my cheek as i pointed my handgun at the target

[Anders J Lee @andersleehere]

Biden is now free to dedicate the remainder of his term to a united Ireland

[Justin Turpin @JustinmTurpin]

Breaking: Jrue Holiday has accepted the tenacious D award

[The Samamander @sclyne23]

Fuck it Wii bowl

[Janos @isjanosnba]

Hi @Lakers . we are 18 . you are nobody .

[clare @sadderlizards]

sorry my hands are so cold all the time it’s because i died a few years back

[Sam Reich @samreich]

favorite tiktok of the week

[The Samamander @sclyne23]

@Dame_Lillard idk if this sways your decision at all but if you come to Boston my brother has a room in Somerville you could probably sublet for at least like 3 weeks.

[merrin @wowzowee]

“do you know excel”

no, but i know kindness. i know friendship. i know love. i know how to see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower. i know how to hold Infinity in the palm of my hand, and eternity in an hour.

[John Karalis 🇬🇷 @John_Karalis]

Jayson Tatum, asked who his favorite NBA players are: "The guys on my team. JB, Smart, Rob, Al, D-White, Brogdon, Grant, Payton, all those guys."

[Jason Gallagher @jga41agher]

What does Santa sacrifice?

[☀️👀 @zei_squirrel]

behold the atheist's nightmare: the banana

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

He wrote this

[m@thew @TweetPotato314]

if hermit crabs had zillow they would lose their fucking minds