Scoop Alley

Satire, humour, observation. Fiction is the lie that reveals the truth...sort of.

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Oh dear, Boris has escaped from Carrie again.

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Now that's what you really do call taking back control of your borders. https://t.co/2qdRFtAwol

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Instead of voting Conservative, why not save time by arranging to have your taxes paid directly to Tory Party donors. Cut out the middle man. #TorySleaze #ToryCorruption

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

We really worry about Boris...will Carrie still want him when he loses his looks? #borisflat #BorisTheLiar

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Major Sleaze doesn't like it up 'im Captain Mainwaring!
#borisflat #MajorSleaze

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Emergency Appeal. Does anybody have a 'previously unseen' photo of #PrincePhilip? The media are running out. Photos in which he looks the same as he does in the other 5 million photos shown so far desperately needed. #DukeofEdinburgh https://t.co/Jtjv5E5Gb0

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Breaking News: At this year's proms, the lyrics to Rule Britannia will be changed from Britain Rules the Waves to Britain Waives the Rules. #BrexitShambles #BorisHasFailedBritain #BrexitReality
https://t.co/FE1p8PzcGV

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Newspapers say they won't pay paparazzi photographers for any more shots of Boris Johnson on holiday...but they'll offer £1m for a picture of him actually doing some work. #BorisTheLiar #BorisHasFailedTheNation

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

After consultation with Donald Trump, Boris Johnson announces plan to stop migrants by building a wall in the middle of the English Channel and making Mexico pay for it.
#BorisHasFailedTheUK #migrantcrisis

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Update: Foreign Office officials say the hoaxer quickly realised Boris Johnson was a fraud and hung up. #TheBritishPeople https://t.co/y0wgRGdq0L

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Update: The invaders have defeated the British Army and are now marching on London...the children have proved to be particularly tough fighters.

[Nigel Farage @Nigel_Farage]

EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE OF BEACH LANDING BY MIGRANTS

Shocking invasion on the Kent Coast taken this morning.

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Ok. This could be your last chance. If your toes match the Roman, Greek, German or Celtic pattern, you could qualify for EU citizenship. #RejoinEU

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

I wash my hands of responsibility for Covid deaths.
I cover my face to hide my embarrassment at my ineptitude.
I make space for others to take the blame.

Boris Johnson. #Covid19UK #BarnardCastle #Boris #HandsFaceSpace

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Nobody likes me right now folks so how about we postpone the election until I'm more popular? #TrumpMeltdown https://t.co/hUSi9pFAPE

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the shops. #AnnWiddecombe #CoverYourFace #COVIDIOTS https://t.co/Yx6YzMrHGV

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Boris Johnson develops cunning disguise to prevent his hundreds of children from recognising he's their father.

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Oh dear. If this news gets out it could really damage his reputation.
Hitler had 'micro-penis, slept with his niece and liked to be kicked during sex' https://t.co/H3SBThfKpd

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

Boris Johnson refuses to delay Parliamant going into recess because Vladimir Putin is perfectly capable of governing Britain on his own.

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

After hearing that Boris Johnson won't allow them a pay rise, nurses decide they'll start paying their taxes by clapping every Thursday evening. #clapforcarers #COVID

[Scoop Alley @scoopalley]

After Tory MPs vote against protecting the NHS in Brexit trade deals with the United States, Boris Johnson urges people to start clapping for American health insurance companies. #ToryCorruption #SaveOurNHS