Sarcasm and Math

Husband and father of two boys, graduate of Ohio Wesleyan, and a high school math teacher in the Columbus area.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

I got some pictures taken today. They looked terrible. I asked the photographer “what kind of camera is that? It makes me look so bony.” She said “It an x-ray machine.”

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

Unpopular opinion.
There should just be 4 teams in the #CollegeFootballPlayoff
Duke vs Indiana and Texas Tech vs Georgia. If you can’t win your conference then you can’t be the national champion. The non power five schools should have their own tournament.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

First you had elf on a shelf. Now we have …

I hope all of you have a happy holidays.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

Happy Halloween!

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

Well this gives me a lot of faith in the data for this online course.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

@nadirlangston11 congrats on your performance at the state track meet. You should be very proud of your accomplishments. I can’t wait to see what you achieve at the NCAA level.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

To my former students that want to feel old…my youngest son Ryan turned 18 yesterday and is graduating from high school today.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

Every year at graduation I’m reminded of what an honor it is to work with the students of HTHS. This year was no different. Congrats class of 2024. Make good choices and put maximum effort into the things that are important. I know you will do great things.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

OSU’s MVP in this game so far is Missouri’s punt returner for not catching either punt. #CottonBowl

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

Jacob and I talking to my wife after we were out.
Jacob: What did you do?
Wife: Watched a movie
Jacob: What movie?
Wife: All the light we cannot see.
Jacob: What is that about?
Me: The trees in the backyard.

We have some Christmas lights that are only partially functioning.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

A little girl about 2-3 came up to my door in a princess costume tonight and said “trick or treat?” I said “trick”. The look on her face was priceless. She had no idea what to do.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

Look who got the perfect shirt to wear to work on Fridays for Father’s Day.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

@brianamhunt Congratulations! I’m proud of you.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

The best/worst part about reaching short-term goals is striving for new goals which at one time seemed unattainable.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

My wife’s birthday is tomorrow
Me: Did you get your mom anything for her birthday?
Jacob: I’m giving her an extra day of spring break.
Me: How about something she can open?
Jacob: She can open her eyes on Friday knowing she doesn’t need to go to work.
He is having hand surgery

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

@RatchetNCranky Thanks for the compliment. I hope things are going well for you.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

I recently clapped at a good play on TV. My wife said “Why are you clapping…they can’t hear you.” “I clapped because I’m happy.” She looked at me like I was crazy. I thought I’m not crazy, they wrote a whole kids song about it. 🎵🎶 If you’re happy and you know it …🎵🎶

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

The other day I saw a rerun of “Man v. Food” where Joey Chestnut made a guest appearance eating a 17 inch 5 lb burrito in 3 minutes and 10 seconds. May you attack 2023 like he attacked that burrito. Happy New Year everyone!

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

My wife’s book list has the book, “Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow“ on it. At the bookstore I found a book titled “Tomorrow and Tomorrow”. Should I buy it? It’s probably the prequel right? Totally different authors…it’s fine.

[Sarcasm and Math @scote23]

Earlier today I heard on the radio there was an accident in West Jeff involving a truck carrying bananas. If anyone wants to play a live version of Mario Kart you know where to go.