Scott Hoad

I've been lapped by the Joneses.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Had a spot of bother earlier.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Don’t punch a police horse in the mouth.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

I’m mildly amused by the fact that I often find myself saying ‘shut up’ when I shut down my laptop.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Cobbler, heel thyself.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

The opposite of indigo is outdicome.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

I’m old enough to remember when… no it’s gone; sorry

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

I gave my mum a selection of Star Wars masks for her 79th birthday, you should’ve seen the Luke on her face.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Upsetting

https://t.co/WBslgmy9og

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

I’m useless at relationships and algebra; if you want to know Y, just ask my X.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

@VertigoWarrior AI

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

I adore the works of Tolkien but I still think ‘Legolas’ sounds like something a Yorkshireman might say to his wife when struggling to get the remote control out of her hand.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Imagine the panic you’d cause on a Jamaican cruise ship if your name was Mandy Lifeboats.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

There are no hard and fast rules when having sex, some people just prefer it that way.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

I’m not a conversationalist, some of my best friends are talkative.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

The River
https://t.co/nwINtmPc8q

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Never gets old
https://t.co/uGnQf4eshD

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

REALLY???

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Being in love is like wearing a bulletproof vest.

Look out for the headshot, though.

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

I fucking love making sex.

#3in1

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

“Sex therapy helpline! What’s your fucking problem…?”

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Mannequins are model citizens.