Marty Lawrence

Social Creative Director. Shitposting 9-5. Shit posts 5-9. Once trended here, haven't been trendy since.

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

Really excited to announce I’ve joined Ed Sheeran’s PR team. Haven’t got access to the emails yet, but hoping for a nice easy first week to get settled in 😊

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

ME: Excuse me…Where's the rowing boat equipment?
EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle.
ME:
EMPLOYEE:
ME:
EMPLOYEE:
ME: Or you'll what?

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

@anthonyabdool Be careful, you’ll strain your eyes

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

Personally I think the Solar Eclipse is just one giant cover-up.

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

Can’t wait for the Spanish players’ rendition of Juanderwall #fifaworldcup

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

[gates of troy]
TROJAN GUARD: what is it?
TROJAN GUARD 2: I've no idea… we’d better get it inside though. open the gates!

[one minute later]
TROJAN GUARD: oh no not again

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

Am I absolutely gutted England are out? Yes. Am I slightly relieved that getting on the pints 2-3 times a week for an entire month is now over? Also yes.

[Real Madrid Xtra @RealMadridXtra]

🚨💣🎙️| Florentino Perez:

"The player I'm going to offer €150M for next week is NOT Haaland, NOT Michael Olise, NOT Kane, NOT Doku."

"He's not a FORWARD and also NOT a defender."

"My SUPERSTAR doesn't play in the Premier League."

"He is a CRISTIANO RONALDO TYPE OF SUPERSTAR, He is a TOTAL GALACTICO. People will NOT BELIEVE IT."

[The Telegraph @Telegraph]

🔴 Peter Kay rushed off stage as venue evacuated over ‘suspicious bag’

https://t.co/EW2tGG1VlS

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

To anyone who received this link in a DM from me, please do not click. I was hacked and it’s a scam. You’d never catch me dead hosting a podcast.

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

It’s been so hot today, I’ve told everyone Trump is doing a fantastic job just for the cold stares.

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

BREAKING: Man on far-right says we shouldn't ban far-right people

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 WATCH: Nigel Farage says the Government shouldn't ban Kanye West from coming to the UK

"If we start banning people from entering the country because we don't like what they say, I worry where that ends up... it's a dangerous path to go down"

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

george fouracres is the most important thing to happen to UK comedy in the last 25 years and I won't be taking any further questions

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

my wife when I'm trying to get her decide on a takeaway

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

just another day on this absolute hellscape

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

Kiss All The Time. Panic At The Disco, Occasionally.

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

ME: new year, nude me!
MAN ON TUBE: jesus fucking christ

[Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng]

Still my favorite video of the last however many years. Watch it once a week

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

Thanks Sky!

[Marty Lawrence @TeaAndCopy]

Turns out the circle in 'Let's circle back in January' was a downward spiral.