Scott Witt

Founder of Parlance ( Chief Brand Officer by day. Picture Maker and Gonzo Mixologist by night. Mostly sarcasm & musings on modern fatherhood

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." • Lao Tzu

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

New York remains undefeated. Congrats Knicks on your epic win. Big love from CA.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

How good would a @tameimpala remix of Steely Dan’s “Peg” be?

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

@ThatChristinaG @michaelmiraflor I think the match that set it all alight was when it suddenly became ok to wear sweatpants in public.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

@anammostarac @michaelmiraflor oversubscribed

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

@altcap @michaelmiraflor 100% a narrative problem. And 100% fixable.

[Lee Clow’s Beard @leeclowsbeard]

If you don’t know what you’re doing, how are you going to know if the thing that’s doing it for you is doing it well? Even the fanciest tool can only cloak incompetence for so long.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

“Doechii has the same jeans that I do. That was a good commercial.” My teenage daughter. Nicely done @kmitch + the @LEVIS team!

[Simons @Simon_Ingari]

Her resignation letter made the CEO go silent for twenty minutes...

Emma cleared out her desk at 5 AM.
Left the letter on his chair.
No drama. No scene.

Just two pages of gratitude.

"Thank you for teaching me what leadership isn't."

Then came her lessons:

"When you took credit for the Harrison campaign, you taught me to document everything."

"When you promised three promotions that never materialized, you taught me words without action mean nothing."

"When you ranked us against each other quarterly, you taught me competition inside kills collaboration."

"When you called weekend meetings for Monday's agenda, you taught me fake urgency is about control, not deadlines."

Fifteen examples.
Fifteen lessons.
Each one specific.
Each one true.

The worst part?

She meant every word.

No sarcasm. No bitterness.
Just genuine appreciation for the education.

"You showed me exactly the leader I refuse to become."

He found it Monday morning.

Read it once.
Read it again.
Read it again.
Called her cell.
Straight to voicemail.

His assistant heard something she'd never heard:

Nothing.

For twenty minutes, he sat there.
One of his best people.
Gone.
No notice.
No warning.

And every word aimed at him.

When he finally emerged, he asked:
"How many others feel this way?"

His assistant looked at the floor.

That told him everything.

Emma?

She's running her own team now.
They've never met her old boss.
But they know him.

Through every decision she doesn't make for them.
Every credit she doesn't take from them.
Every promise she keeps to them.

Her team thinks she's a natural leader.

They're wrong.

She was trained by the worst.
And learned exactly what not to do.

Sometimes the best teachers
are the ones who show you
exactly who you never want to be.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

The Peacock > AppleTV > Comcast bundle sign on and verification is unbelievably cumbersome. Days like this, I miss basic cable.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

Is anyone even trying to be original anymore?

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

What’s the correct past tense of having taken a screenshot? “Screenshat” feels phonetically correct but culturally amiss. “Screenshotted” feels politely improper. I want this to be the “giff vs jiff “ of 2026.

What say you?

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

It would be a shame if people actually got to see the news. Fact checked. Legally
Cleared news. Doing my part. Now do yours.

[Janice Hough @leftcoastbabe]

So we need to make this go viral and get more people to see it than would have watched 60 minutes.

[Thais Castello Branco @thaiscbranco_]

the van diagram of people who:

get tech
get people
can explain complex things simply
can make people care

is TINY

[ML Smith @maria48308]

Totally mind boggling that Trump has never had not one damn day in prison.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

Make Gerrymandering Great Again

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

For New Yorkers threatening to leave b/c of your new mayor, DM me — maybe I’ll buy your condo.

Also, congrats to the new Mayor Elect.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

@bgurley Let’s get them over to the Guild.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

Twitter is especially dark and unpleasant today. A fair and accurate portrayal of where we are as a country.

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

Another excellent recap of LAST WEEK’s astonishing progress being made in AI & Robotics 🤯 @adcock_brett breaks it down clearly week after week. A very strong follow if you’re not already.

[Brett Adcock @adcock_brett]

Another huge week of AI and robotics news

I summarized everything from OpenAI, xAI, Google, Meta, Figure, Nvidia, Tencent, Unitree, Weave Robotics, Engine AI, and more.

Here's everything you need to know and how to make sense out of it:

[Scott Witt @scottwitt]

If you are flexing a NetJets hat and hoodie twin-set, but seated in coach - I have questions.