Jesus Vikingson

[Pokémon GO Hub @PokemonGOHubNet]

Recently, a ton of Pokemon content creators were invited to a Pokemon Sleep Sleepover Event in London, where they tested Pokemon Sleep and the new GO Plu+ device. Here are some images.

Full story https://t.co/i7PW9QPsTl

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

I'm on lunch duty, kid comes up to me;
Kid: "sir, my friend's just kicked her shoe over the fence"
(ie, the fence between the high school and nearby houses)
Me: " there's not much I can do I'm afraid..."
Luckily it hadn't gone over, and was in some bushes...
#school #teaching

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Overhead in school;
"Is menopause for men or women? It does start with men..."
#school #teaching

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Overhead in school;
"Aren't ovaries a type of fruit?"
#teaching #school

[Eleanor Penny @eleanorkpenny]

Shabbat Kablam motherfuckers

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

From one of my mates, having a drunken discussion with me;
"I've slowly begun to realise that the Jews were right about everything", followed by, "I feel like I've been mean to the Jews in the past"

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

With regards to a jigsaw of a scantily clad woman;
"Putting together the clevage makes it less sexy"
#max2020

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Playing cards against humanity, the card 'warm velvety muppet sex' is played;
Card czar; "If you remove the muppets, it's not too bad"
And in reply; "If you remove the muppets, then it's just two hands going at it"
#nerdsquad

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Some year 7 team names from a festive quiz:
-Dancing Donuts
-Silence of the frog (Santa the frog)
-Christmas Cranks
-Hannah Montana (I'm pretty sure this was a group of only boys)
-Lozza Rocks
-Dense Chicken
#teaching #school

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Marking a maths test with the pupils, question is to calculate the time to defrost a turkey, based on its size.
A kid got the right answer (24) -not from working it out, but because he was told that to defrost something you should leave it out for 24hrs. Lucky.
#teaching #school

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Kid: "oh! Bone!"
Me, immediately, trying not to piss myself laughing; "*attempting to carry on explaining question*"
Kid I support: "everything okay sir?"

#teaching #school
For those unfamiliar why I was laughing so much:

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Year 7 biology class, I'm going through something with the kid I support, a kid next to me is doing a biology themed crossword, they're currently stuck on one of the words. They're thinking aloud working it out, I'm half listening, suddenly, out of the blue, they get the answer

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Kid after being hit by a snowball;
"You can't hurt me! I'm communist Russia!"
#teaching #school

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Overhead in class;
"Why did they build the Berlin Wall?"
"Cause of Donald Trump isn't it!"
#teaching #school

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Overhead in class;
"I thought it would be funny if it made me question life..."
"Your hairline makes does that."
#teaching #school

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Overhead in the corridor, student coming out of an exam:
"It said that x is less than 3...but x was bigger than 3? So like, what even is maths?"
What is maths indeed?
#school #teaching

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Overhead in class today:
"O friend, you're spicier than a Nandos!"
#teaching #school

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

In English class, studying a Christmas Carol;
Teacher: who was queen Victoria married too?
Kid 1: Henry VIII!
Kid 2: Santa!
(these are in year 10)
#school #teaching

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

The kid I support told me today that I have YouTube channel called "Sir the bear". I do not, and besides, I'm probably more of an otter.
#school #teaching

[Jesus Vikingson @scouse_viking]

Overhead in class today:
"When you do Duke of Edinburgh Gold, you have to fight a bear"
#teaching #school