Sarah de la Garza

Decidedly human, marginally funny, innocuously chaotic

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

Twitter is a shitshow and I can't trust it for news anymore. All my infosec friends are bailing left and right (which is obviously not a good sign), but if I leave, how will 2-3 people laugh at my jokes?

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

My grandma does this weirdly specific kind of gaslighting where if you mention a food she'll say "no one really wants to eat that". She said this on Thanksgiving about many things, including: sweet tea, cheese boards, and pie... no meme! YOU just don't want to eat anything.

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

Why can't any establishments in my town cook breakfast as well as me so I can go purchase it from them when I don't feel like cooking??

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

Fixed it for you.

[Brownsville PUB @BPUBOfficial]

BPUB Board Issues Statement on Tenaska Audit - https://t.co/VJnzh0Yfn8

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

My husband just asked me why the brightness on my phone is always set to "the ark of the covenant"

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

@Chewyid I use bitwarden as my password manager
This interaction looks like an ad 🤣🤣

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

I miss when people had to stand six feet away from me in checkout lines.

[CJ @CJthe80sBaby]

Dude from The Black Keys cheating on Michelle Branch and then calling the cops when he gets slapped is a whole different level of bitchassness.

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

Current stage of the creative process: I'm a mediocre graphic designer and I deserve to be stoned to death with tennis balls

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

My Discover Weekly playlist suggested something from Greta Van Fleet and I'm just a little bit insulted.

[Chris. 5x💉 @ChrisHoodAU]

Aliasing 'docker pull' to 'docker yoink'

And 'docker push' to 'docker yeet'

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

Wish I had the confidence of the dude in the truck in front of me that has a sticker that says "ODGE, you'll get the D later"

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

I once saw a shirt that I thought said "don't touch my daughter's tools" and I thought "what a fun progressive shirt" until I got a little closer and it said "don't touch my daughter OR my tools" and I thought "ah, that makes more sense for this Walmart."

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

I've never wondered if I was born in the wrong era. I know for a fact I belong in this time period because I don't like pickled things.

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

@ciriamarie I'm almost done, you can go next.

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

@deviantollam My mom's Twitter bio is "non newtonian fluid". She didn't write it, doesn't know how it got there, but hasn't bothered to change it - epitome of green flags /chaotic good.

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

@RebeccaFKenney1 Read again, decoration, lend to trustworthy friends, save to share with my children (depending on the book 😅) reference, physical reminder, feel like a dragon with a hoard or a princess with a library... long, long list of reasons I like to own physical copies of books.

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

Not that this is news, but Mandy Patinkin is a national treasure and should be protected at all cost

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

I'd be SOL if my friends needed to know my favorite song to save me from Vecna. I don't have a favorite song. I have hyperfixation songs.

[Sarah de la Garza @sdblish]

Just finished organizing the songs in my likes playlist into their genre/mood appropriate playlists. Now it's time to fill my likes playlist up again.