Shayna Hillenberg

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

my ideal saturday? day drink then come home, nap, pretend we’re going out for like 30 mins then give up and watch the greatest showman & order enough chinese food to feed an entire village. guy fieri is there.

[Jewish Girl Problems @JapProbz]

New Passover drinking game: every time a family member asks you about your love life, take a drink.

[Sam @SamRote]

girl:

guy: sorry but there's this thing with my ex and I just don't think I'm ready to treat you like a person right now

[Nick Meelker @itsnickdude]

I don't know what alcohol to get myself for Valentine's Day

[Shayna Hillenberg @sdhillenberg]

@_HollyNagy @caelynnmk @TheBachelorTV My heart hurts for her

[Cheyenne 🤍 @cheyennedevaun]

I pray for happiness and better days

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

i definitely hibernate a little in the winter, like summer me is fun, she’s spontaneous, she’s up for anything, but winter me gets winded walking up the stairs and just wants eat pasta and drink wine on the couch

[relatable @byreIatable]

do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it's 9pm and you've achieved literally nothing

[Shayna Hillenberg @sdhillenberg]

@_HollyNagy remember when you switched out my batteries with yours?

[Shayna Hillenberg @sdhillenberg]

My calculator would die during my stats exam. I have the worst luck ever😳

[Shayna Hillenberg @sdhillenberg]

Why do I keep thing this to myself

[Tess Koman @tessie_the_mess]

the thing they don’t tell you about your twenties is that you don’t plan to get v riesling-drunk alone on a friday night and weep to both bruce sprinsteen AND one direction, but alas

[giselle green @JagerZel]

Some days I question my parental skills... other days....

[Erika Campbell @Erika_Campbell4]

Physically at work, mentally have no idea where I am.

[𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 ⋒ @mommameetsworld]

Hello, I’ve finished my free trial of adulting and I’m no longer interested. I’d like to cancel my subscription. Is there a manager I can speak to?

[. @chop2080]

Anyone else have no idea what’s going on with their life?

[Shayna Hillenberg @sdhillenberg]

I hate fireworks and my little cousin came up to me yesterday and said, “I use to be scared of fireworks too, but I grew up and got over it.”

[Haily @hailyyy89]

I just wanna say Carrie Underwood gave 13 year old me the WRONG IMPRESSION of what you can do when a man fucks you up. Like I thought all females just went around destroying their man’s car when they cheat, but apparently that’s “illegal behavior”. Total rip off.