Steven R.

sports, slapstick humor, and rube.

[Steven R. @sdow34]

“What’d you give up for Lent in 2020?”

“The NBA, school, work, The Masters, hockey, baseball, March Madness, going to any public place with over 100 people and staying 6 feet away from people at all times”

#COVIDー19

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@DaneMooreNBA @WindhorstESPN Please read and stop making shit up. Thank you.

[Mikale Olson @realmikolson]

Australian discovers Texas Roadhouse…

First, he calls it a “fancy restaurant,” and he couldn’t be more wrong. Texas Roadhouse isn’t just a fancy ole restaurant. It’s a giant slice of heaven brought down to earth.

This man loves the bread, the free refills, the service.

In response to those outside the US complaining about tipping there: “You don’t have to tip… you WANT to tip. These are the most wonderful people on earth.”

“I don’t even know why some of you Americans are so angry all the time; you guys have Texas Roadhouse in your country.”

You got that right. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

#worldcup #usa

[Emanuel Quiñones @EQuinones6310]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America!
The greatest country on earth.

[tetsuo @tetsuoai]

History's first trillionaire is a guy who catches rockets out of the sky with chopsticks and beams internet to every dead zone on the planet.

Same guy ships cars that drive themselves, humanoid robots for the factory floor, brain chips that let paralyzed people move a cursor with pure thought, and an AI running on a supercomputer his team stood up in months instead of years.

And the people crashing out about his net worth are doing it on the app he owns. The same app governments spent years trying to censor.

You cannot legislate a rocket into orbit.

[Steve Politi @StevePoliti]

We talked to nearly 100 people about youth sports in New Jersey and found a predatory industry that is leaving parents broke, exhausted and wondering how the games of their childhood took over their adult lives. Our six-month investigation: https://t.co/plE3w618qt

[BrickCenter @BrickCenter_]

Wemby with an INSANE flop 😭

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@dollazbloc @paralyzedprime @SportsCenter @NBAOfficial @NBA Ummm who are you again?

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@dollazbloc @SportsCenter @NBAOfficial @NBA It’s called defense

[Tomer Azarly @TomerAzarly]

3 French blocks to start Spurs-Wolves Game 1 (but Wemby clearly goaltended his 2nd block and they missed it).

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@AltitudeSR how you like them apples?

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@heydb memphis isn’t playing tonight fyi

[Steven R. @sdow34]

Refs trying to make this go 7 games with these calls @NBA @Timberwolves

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@AltitudeSR @RadioMoser @VicLombardi @BrettKaneRadio @AltitudeTV You suck. Dane rules. Let the numbers speak for themselves.

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@AltitudeSR @NateKreckman @Andy_Lindahl @NateKreckman maybe you should worry more about your Nuggets after last night’s ass whoopin. Jaden took them to school

[Pat Freeman @pwfree23]

Bringing your spouse and kid to watch your child play in Milwaukee this weekend?

That will be $239.01 for admission…

What are we doing!? #AAUBingo

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

Boomers on Facebook getting duped by AI slop

[Steven R. @sdow34]

@Espngreeny crazy idea, but I think all Rhodes needs to do is read the script…..

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

This might be the only time you see a goal like this in your entire lifetime @spittinchiclets

[BucciOT.Com @Buccigross]

This is in the Top 10 of all time off ice hockey pictures. So rich. Boldy's expression is gold.

[Andrew Lokenauth @FluentInFinance]

-Life of a millenial
-Recession at the age of graduation
-Pandemic at the age of independence
-AI layoffs at the age of career growth
-Housing crisis at the age of home ownership