Seattle Sir

Seattle area Gay Dom/Sir (lifestyle edition). Exploring pleasures, kinks, turn-ons, etc.. Probably NSFW. Quality over Quantity.

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

Seems like it's only a matter of time before this thing sinks into the depths of a digital ocean. I won't intentionally delete here but I do have FetLife and other profiles. Find me if you'd like -> https://t.co/0CHBg4BCD8

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@silkboytwink So hot!!

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@ReconNews I’m really upset that axing the saved search feature from the old platform without ample notice caused me to lose a well curated list of terms that helped me and others find those interests. I intentionally let my premium go and y’all have some work to do to regain my trust and $

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@_castration_ Without > With

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@silkboytwink Looks REALLY good. Very hot.

[PupSpasm @GimpSpasm]

💦💦💦

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MstrBiceptimus Strongly agree.

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MstrBiceptimus In my experience many subs are wrapped up in a fantasy and cannot handle the realities of what service actually is. Most are in it for a quick wank/fantasy and beyond that they're just not engaged or find something more convenient to them. Part of why I'm so disinterested lately.

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MasterBly Props for taking care of yourself and prioritizing those needs. I've appreciated your writings and thoughts (and have shared them elsewhere). All the best to your in-person pursuits. :-)

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MasterBly Respect for that journey. I've been flying solo for so long (prev. relationship was vanilla and not great tbh) that I'm facing a similar challenge trusting someone on _that_ level, starting with finding someone that's _actually_ serious about living this lifestyle to begin with.

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MasterBly Everyone has room for improvement and growth (I'm no exception 😅) and if yours is resisting that temptation to lean into managing/commanding every second of their life ... personally that sounds rather exhausting in the long haul. LOL

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MasterBly Right. In my view that's the sign of trust on both ends; finding an s-type that doesn't *need* the micro-commands and D-types resisting the temptation to 'just' dole them out. I aspire to find s-types that want to be trained and set out my vision/tasks without extreme oversight.

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MasterBly Yes, in my opinion/perspective it isn't sustainable, and is a fantasy. That's a LOT of work for someone to take on and I don't see where that aligns to how life actually works, even in a 24x7 live-in situation.

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@hairygingertop @WAboy360 Cool story bro. Any other brilliant retorts to share?

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@WAboy360 https://t.co/2lnnPrljGr

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@hairygingertop @WAboy360 Kink doesn't equal naked.

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@WAboy360 It's even more fun when you learn the roommate is an ex. 😵

[Seattle Sir @seadomguy]

@MasterBly Certainly. AND, subs aren't exempt from that responsibility either; risking a stereotype, maybe it's a bit more prevalent when 2 males are doing this dance? I've been ghosted many a time where a sub has felt overwhelmed and needed space and it's very jarring (some may say cruel).

[Master Greg @thefourgregs]

Masters and slaves help each other handle stress by following the same 'support flowchart' as anyone else.

When one comes to the other with a problem unrelated to the dynamic:
1. Do you want a distraction?
2. Do you want space?
3. or do you want to talk about it?
If you want to talk about it:
-> 3a. Do you want comfort / someone to listen?
-> 3b. Or do you want solutions?

I believe many 'dominants' use their submissives only as kinky distractions from their problems, or distance themselves when they are stressed, rather than talking about those problems; I further believe never talking about problems damages relationships.

This is largely an issue of socialization, especially with men who have been socialized to believe that verbalizing your challenges is a sign of weakness, or that the only emotion a man is 'allowed' to show is anger.

Because the issue was caused by socialization, a Master can grow to become a better communicator with time, support, and specific training.

But why should they bother? Men have been 'strong and silent' for generations, why change now?

A Master who only ever chooses distraction or distance rather than verbalization causes at least three big issues.

One, the abandoned submissive may feel helpless or like they did something wrong to cause the problem when their Master is stressed.

Two, the abandoned submissive may feel like their 'value' to their dominant is only as a toy; to be used only for fun, never as an entire person who wants a relationship.

Three, their Master may be missing out on a critically useful support, who desperately wants to serve as that support, and can in many cases provide a fresh, useful perspective.

At the very least, Masters, when you feel a heavy stress about something in your life, I believe you need to be able to verbalize to your submissive whether you want a distraction, space, or someone to listen or help brainstorm solutions, and start off by reassuring them that they did nothing wrong to cause your 'Master problems' and that you are still feeling attached and want to continue the relationship once you figure out how to handle the problem and the stress passes.

Then, again at the very least, 'ping' them periodically to let them know you're still connected, and still solving the problem, and plan to return as soon as you're able.

Leaving someone in the dark about why you are not communicating with them, when they are dependent on your leadership, is cruelty.