Nobody tells me they missed me nobody remembers my birthday nobody texts me first nobody tells me they enjoy my company.
"Why are you so dry" bc you told me me appreciating you as my friend was weird and gross and that I shouldn't do this bc people won't want to talk to me
I just wish people would take the initiative to include me more often instead of treating me like an after thought. "I'm sorry i only asked you bc I thought my friend was busy" I genuinely bawled my eyes out at that I don't care if Im sensitive anymore
I just don't feel like I can do anything right, everyone is more likable than me I feel like the butt of every joke and it wouldn't be an issue if everyone else got the same treatment but they don't and I notice and it's not fair
It doesn't help I already feel like a burden to everyone I talk to I try to maintain a consistent friendship with the people I like to show I am committed but I really feel like shit because many don't like that and will straight up ignore my message for a week before responding
I've been trying to stay positive today I felt like I had such a good day yesterday but I really just felt like shit so I seeked solace in old messages from a friend and I started crying cause I read something I perceived to be mean a year ago.
I fucking hate showering it feels like I fucking touched the sun every fucking time I do I'm so fucking itchy and I have to put fucking lotion on too I fucking hate my fucking life
I have many people who I consider friends and I just wonder if they even think about me until I wiggle my way back into their DMS and bother them again because I missed them and wanted to talk
I keep doing impulsive things just to feel human because I feel like Im losing control and autonomy of myself and it feels like hell because nobody is doing this to me