Sebastian

having a time.

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

When did everyone agree that autotune is talent? 😬

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

The only reason I would ever get @paramountplus is so that I can have access to all seasons Spongebob anytime anyplace.

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

@christianvd_ Might as well quit 🤷

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

The scariest moment in life is when blueberries fall from the fridge. Will the container open and ruin your morning? Or will it be your lucky day? 🫐

[Shayne Topp @supershayne]

ME: *roasting chestnuts on an open fire*
JACK FROST: I am going to nip the fuck out of your nose.

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

Is liking spaghetti squash a slippery slope to becoming vegan? If so I'm on my way.

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

Is mercury in Gatorade? How's everyone doing?

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

If the article starts with 'A tik toker figured out...' I stop reading and realize it is time for bed.

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

When are we going to stop saying 'its nice to meet you... in-person..' and have a slight chuckle after?

I've 100% met most people only in person now, and I still say it.

The end is near?

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

dating really is funny bc I did many things in my late teens/early 20s that genuinely make me wonder how I’m still alive but the guys im dating now are meeting a woman who gets a headache from red wine and always dresses sensibly for the weather

[SerenAAAAAAHHHHH @kidnapped_jesus]

My boss just gave me a "quiet promotion": I have many more responsibilities but my job title and pay stayed the same

[Rachel @femaleredhead]

oh your boyfriend’s a doctor? well my boyfriend is now the coach of an imaginary football team for the next 4 months

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

Please don't ever say 'I know' or interrupt people when they are trying to help. It is really a bad look, especially when push comes to shove and you don't actually know.

Admit fault, say 'I don't know' and stay humble.👍

[🔥 🏠 with a Y 🏠 🔥 @wyntermitchell]

Currently feeling real dumb for how hard I laughed at this

[Sebastian @sebvoth]

@HeatherEaton_8 New job??? 😎

[Shayne Topp @supershayne]

Jacket? You mean Diet Coat?