Jessie Turner

Don't threaten me Al. You're out of shape, I'll kick your arse!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Fuck it.. I know I'm. Gonna sleep with him.. Because I can

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

Scientists say men who drink beer daily reduce their risk of heart attack. As for livers, scientists said "fuck livers" and then high-fived.

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Can't work out if it's the booze blues or I really did somerhing wrong this time!!!

[n2o @1evilidiot]

The hardest part of being celibate is not wanting to be celibate.

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

My bogies smell.. But only after I've picked them.. Weird!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Home alone and can't even be bothered to masturbate.. Should probably just do myself a favour and shoot my own face off.

[Red Velvet Sin @DontTouchMyWine]

Standing in the liquor store, trying to decide if tonight's dose of self-loathing and regret should have a screw-top or a cork.

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

What the fuck do I do now?

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Somewhere in a parallel universe I'm smoking a cigarette in bed and not feeling guilty.

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Somewhere in a parallel universe right now I'm being fucked by the hot bar man and he isn't really disappointing!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Somewhere in a parallel universe.. I can spell parallel

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Its better to do it that think about doing it.. Fuck the consequences!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Ok so now I can't drink in my regular.. Apart from fuck it.. I can do what the fuck I like.. The bar man is there to service me!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Oops!!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

The joy of being in your 30's is that.. Fuck it!!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

If it all goes wrong I'll just move countries!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Hang on if I think my life is a TV programme then I can do what ever I want and someone will pay me.. Surely!!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Sometimes I think I might be here just to entertain those fuckers who think my life is a fucking TV programme!!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

Now have a wank and go to sleep!

[Jessie Turner @secretmefree]

I'm pretty sure I'll do it again!