secret sequins

live for today plan for tomorrow party tonight...... then tweet your fucking face off. no holds barred. we x rated over hrrrr

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

It's like, im watching this guy shoot up meth &I then just destroying shit on a farm 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 I watched him shoot up & cough. Jealz 💉💦

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Or getting a Valium or Demerol drip.... I haven't put a needle in my arm/smoked crack since New Years 2011 ✌🏾💉✨

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

I am going to be a nurse. I will make your I.V. not scrape up against your vein and irritate you while you're getting your blood drawn

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

But it ain't easy. The deep seeded regret lingers so hard.
I watch too much Intervention.

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

And I am haunted forever by this.'they're facts and they define lives. Those definitions can be remodeled later in life, it's true ...

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

And it's my fault she doesn't...: because she got raped when she was little and I tried to stop it but I was little and I couldn't help

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Because SO many of my friends and especially my sister didn't have the self preserving mechanism that I had inside

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Im so lucky that I had another type of fire inside of me that managed to keep me from being a lifer. I've always felt guilty that I had it

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Meth. Out if this fucking galaxy. Heroin and cocaine. Heaven in earth. Nothing could ever EVER compare to that actual intravenous feeling

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Obviously I know theres no future in that shit. Doesn't mean I don't miss it sometimes. It's just not practical. But the needle. I miss it

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

You can't call yourself a real junkie, if you don't know what it means to live with "extreme numbness" as your #1 life priority

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Extreme numbness. That's what we all want and have in common.

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

I could be great. But I never let myself. & the more I keep trying & failing the worse it feels every single time

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

It's wanted to kill myself so very badly today. I am worthless & unfixable. Been drunk for 4 days. I can not seem to get it right

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

TFW you drink an entire bottle of wine before your 9am class but nobody would ever suspect because you're a low key creep alcoholic 🙄

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

She's in my dreams every few months. And they're always similar. A shop is involved & she always actually wants to talk about what happened

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

He's my heart and if he goes, I go

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Don't think I'll be able to make myself go any farther. People humans my love ones matter obviously but.... Carlos makes my sunrise

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

Because none of it's going to matter it's all just gonna and I think I can last as long as Carlos can but honestly after Carlos I really

[secret sequins @secretsequins]

And yet still I really can't come up with any reason to go on living every day at all just seems like a farce