securetoexplore

trying to become secure enough to explore

attachment · meditation · imagination · human flourishing

IPF facilitator-in-training through mettagroup · EN/DE

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

I’m training in Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) facilitation with Mettagroup and am looking for people who’d like to try the practice with me.

I’m offering a free series of six 1:1 sessions. After that, you can continue on a donation basis.

Book a free call:
https://t.co/agWe7HC19C

[Iain MacMillan @IainMacBets]

No exaggeration, this guy might be the best interview in pro sports right now

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@sardonic_greek what in the dismissing-avoidant fantasy is this

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

Most people don't want to become perfectly healed or fully integrated.
As soon as their sense of self to stops getting in the way of pursuing what matters to them, it's much less appealing to try and fix yourself.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

It really is about being "secure enough" to explore :)

My meditation/attachment teacher said that once people have meaningful pursuits and relationships in place, they'll stop IPF anyway, regardless of transference.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

“All of us, from the cradle to the grave, are happiest when life is organized as a series of excursions, long or short, from the secure base provided by our attachment figure(s).” - John bowlby

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@SISUNNY001 Yes! But stability doesn’t necessarily mean intimacy. Two avoidant partners may find an equilibrium in distance; an anxious–avoidant pair in pursuit and withdrawal. Both can last for years. The deeper question is whether there’s room for vulnerability within that stability.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

For example, instead of "your ideal parents give you a hug," it might be "notice that your ideal parents welcome any physical affection you want to initiate."

Ideally, the prompt sets the boundaries but they get to discover their own solution.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

My IPF work is moving into a new phase: getting better at understanding the attachment representation beneath the imaginal scene, then finding a prompt that gives the person enough structure to explore their own solution.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

Also felt a lot of heartbreak for anyone with that wound, since it is so devastating. You come into the world as a bundle of joy, expecting to join the rest of us.
When that bundle of joy is not welcome, it's deeply confusing and unsettling.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

Personal IPF report: primordial anticipation for your being.

In a recent practice, I imagined my mother telling me how excited she'd been to finally meet me and get to be my mother. The whole community was curious about me, excited to discover who I was.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

This felt like a primordial welcome: the world excited to get know me even before I was born, wondering who I might be.
It was like the simulation itself wanted me to come into existence just to see what I was like.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@PoemsWeBurned @JakeOrthwein @nosilverv @nickcammarata @jhana_bro Also careful to build self-agency without basic delight in being, which leads to need to be successful.
Delight in being without agency leads to "chill guy that doesn't do anything"

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@PoemsWeBurned @JakeOrthwein @nosilverv @nickcammarata @jhana_bro Look into the "self agency" section in Dan's book as well at "the role of the father" section.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@bantm__ I am closing the 6 session trial for now, but I am happy to meet and try out the practice with you if you can find a time on the calendar 🙂

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

I’m training in Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) facilitation with Mettagroup and am looking for people who’d like to try the practice with me.

I’m offering a free series of six 1:1 sessions. After that, you can continue on a donation basis.

Book a free call:
https://t.co/agWe7HC19C

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@callmesaucey My availability is getting more limited but I am always happy to do one session if you find a time in my calendar

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@IAmBenJames so the real issue was not guilt about not doing enough but rejection and feeling unwanted.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

Practicing the Grief Protocol has been surprisingly fun.

The art is finding the unconscious “hook” that makes a problem feel unresolvable, then helping the person see it clearly enough that the resolution unfolds on its own.

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@IAmBenJames One example, a brother's suicide:

Conscious story: "I didn't do enough to help him; I should have prevented his death"

Unconscious hook: "He didn't want what I had to offer. He didn't see my help as helpful, so he rejected it"

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

I’m getting better at spotting the pattern. Helping someone else see it fully will take more practice.
Overall, it seems that once the past feels resolved, turning toward the present and future takes much less effort.

Learning how to be a helpful person is interesting :)

[securetoexplore @securetoexplore]

@nosilverv yes, secure attachment allows for the exploration system to come online and genuine authentic exploration generates the felt sense of meaning :)