I can only pray for you that's it. Wish i could help you in fighting with depression. I can only say that let go of the past. I know its not easy. But your smile, your happiness matter. So please try to normal yourself
I'm also a jal kukri. I get jealous when someone is getting my fav person's attention. I get jealous my fav person is laughing with someone and happy with someone more than with me. I get jealous when my fav person is showing the same love to some which i think i only deserve. :3
That one sided feelings are worst one that can happen to someone. You desperately want someone knowing that it's not possible. His/her thoughts captured your mind but you know that its not even matter. He/She is always in your heart but you know that he/she can't be in your arms.