Seema Patel

Attorney. World Traveler.

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

I feel like @ChaseSupport is known for their customer service, but they shouldn’t be. They unilaterally cancelled my card based on an inquiry from almost 2 weeks ago, without any follow up or confirmation, and apparently “cannot” provide any comp for the trouble they’ve caused 🙃

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

Restarted Criminal Minds and tbh have we considered just letting cadaver dogs loose to see what they find, because I’m starting to think they’d definitely find some ✨things✨

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

If you’re curious what being in a chaotic girl group looks like, know that I just got home, at 10:30pm….from lunch.

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

I underestimated how much of adult friendship is rooted in sending each other links to things the other has mentioned wanting in the past

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

*walks into a litigator’s office*
Him: “Hey, you’re a transactional attorney by trade, right?”
Me: “that didn’t sound like a threat, but it sure felt like one.”

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

Coworker: “you have amazing eyelashes!”
Me: “thanks, they’re fake”
Coworker: “well, obviously. This isn’t a Disney cartoon.”

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

Back to thinking there is a conspiracy, I’ve been losing an obscure amount of things in my house that are all completely unrelated and there’s just no way I’m suddenly doing this to myself

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

“I absolutely think this is Cowboy Dan” -@shannonmarieb28

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

I think my Apple Watch overheard me talking about potentially needing a new one because it suddenly starting acting right again

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

I was absolutely convinced I was losing socks at an alarming rate since moving and there was a conspiracy afoot. Today I found out the issue is *actually* that I’m too short to see the spot in my dryer where all the socks have been collecting.

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

I don’t have a better way to explain this or additional context, but the letter “Q” really has no business being as high up on the alphabet as it is. It belongs with the “VWXYZ” crowd

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

For those of you following along at home, I’ve cried four (4) times so far during this episode of @QueerEye

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

*sitting at my partners desk during a call* “is this rogue item under this stack of papers an Advil or a skittle?”

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

I find hard to believe that it’s the year 2021 and there are still people out here not re-racking their weights

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

When Sky Harbor tells you you need to come at least 2 hours early, it’s not because of increased travelers - it’s because they plan to only have one, far security gate open so you’ll need the time to walk through the entire airport to your gate, apparently

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

I simply waited way too long to hear this again and now that I’m back, I’m hooked. If you need me, I’ll be glued to my couch until I finish the season, bye

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

Bar prep has to be the most emotionally taxing event I’ll ever experience. I put my pencil down and it rolled off my table and I literally sobbed, we are just not okay.

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

@LivinOnTheEdge On dating apps 😂

[Seema Patel @seemagpatel]

The amount of times I have seen the prompt "biggest risk I've taken" answered with "moving to AZ" is confusing me.

You're telling me the BIGGEST RISK you've taken in your WHOLE LIFE is moving to the 5th largest city in the US? What a daredevil

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

The former Minneapolis cop, who pressed his knee on Floyd’s neck until he took his last breath, was convicted of all charges in a defining moment of the country’s reckoning over police brutality. https://t.co/xla5vMo3sw