Michael Williams

Dad, counsel, ignoramus, etc.

#Jaguars fan

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

Met a young person who can't find a job bc of AI. His mom is sick and needs home care. He drives Uber to pay rent, but is barely getting by. I told him the White House pool is going to be longer than skyscrapers and he burst out crying. "Thank you sir," he said, "I needed that."

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@ColorizedVault @Furbeti @WomenHoldTheSky Seriously this is how rewards in video games look

[Dan Collins @DanCollins2011]

Palantir knows everything.

The founder of Palantir is fleeing the country.

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@hthaze Naansense

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@ClayHale7 I'm sorry for your losses 😞

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@DossMane89 Soward

[greg @greg16676935420]

Why is no one talking about the fact that appetizers are now the same price as entrees

[Derek Thompson @DKThomp]

it's a poem about a thing that never happened, credited to an author who probably never existed, and helen is introduced within the mythology as the daughter of ZEUS, a figure literally nobody in this country even believes in, if you're emotionally invested in the historicity of her pigmentation you need a life and also medication, not necessarily in that order

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

"You don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” Faulkner

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@X_whatsthisnow @dissidentwest Ahahahaha

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@_vandul My teenaged kids love it. I'm sick of it but I eat it sometimes because I'm already in the drive thru

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@Martin00X @otokyo And most (and by that I mean nearly every single one) religious people also worship those other things, but the difference is they pretend to worship their god more and pretend they're thereby better than the rest. Hope this helps

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@MLFootball somebody has to say it -- now get Sunshine to cut his!

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

C'est la vie.

[Burt Macklin @BurtMaclin_FBI]

Caught my wife doing laundry and stopped her immediately. I said, “Babe, it’s Mother’s Day. You don’t do chores today. Go sit down and relax; these clothes will still be here tomorrow.”

I’m such a good husband.

[k @alfkkifine]

Women: I want to go for a run.
Society: You can’t go alone. You’ll get raped.

Women: I want to walk to my car in the parking garage.
Society: Alone? You better get someone to escort you, or you’ll get raped.

Women: I want to live alone.
Society: You need a gun, an alarm system, a dog and probably a gun for the dog too.

Women: What about going to the park?
Society: Dangerous.

Women: Okay, I’ll just go out for a drink then.
Society: Don’t take your eyes off your drink. Watch out for predators spiking your drinks. Stay alert at all times.

Women: I was raped.
Society: Are you sure? That just seems impossible.

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@NeonGridiron @Super70sSports The ponytail still cracks me up!

[Sony Thăng @nxt888]

Western empires love to accuse others of fanaticism because they cannot survive honest inspection of their own beliefs.

What could be more fanatical than flattening countries for abstractions like credibility, deterrence, prestige, or strategic depth?

What could be more deranged than starving children in the name of stability?

What could be more cult-like than believing your violence is uniquely redemptive while everyone else’s resistance is pathological?

This is not rationality.

It is imperial theology.

A secular religion of domination in which the market is sacred, military supremacy is moral, and the dead of the Global South are the burnt offerings.

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@jepasta It has truly sucked forever. Of course the occasional funny bits pop up, but you can catch up on them in 15 minutes while doing other things

[Michael Williams @seemichael]

@CartallicaX1 @JamesTate121 Befitting their position on everything government related, they want to break it so they can point to it and say that it's always been broken