Selim Almeida

atomic mass: 135. 9653

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Hmu if you need your car parallel parked

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

@_citlallicg Press Control + ‘f’, then search by keyword!

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Possibly the worst weekend to be working🙃 https://t.co/6FeiT9yac2

[NWS Twin Cities @NWSTwinCities]

This may be an historic storm if the current forecast pans out.

8-15 inches are likely from west central MN to central WI and strong winds/blizzard conditions across western MN. Some freezing rain will fall across southern MN as well. #mnwx #wiwx

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

@Phiaaaaa_ I didn’t say it, you did

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

@Phiaaaaa_ “Hmmm maybe, but then where would I get my swag?”

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

@Phiaaaaa_ “Did I leave the frijoles on?”

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Ryan from the office was the original fuck boi

[Nick Offerman @Nick_Offerman]

I would grill that child the finest steak she had ever apprehended you turgid dumbass https://t.co/8RpuYXkuze

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

It’s 40-something degrees but I’m still chilly #coldblooded

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Racial disparities in America are absurdly unjust. https://t.co/29WfzA83SC

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Love it when I’m shoveling the driveway and all of a sudden I get impaled with the shovel because of a 1cm crack

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

I just want it to be warm so I can bike everywhere

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

I love it when my girl is gassing herself up and bombards me me with pics of proof

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

First day of my last semester of nursing school tomorrow😬 then it’s off to boards!

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Lol or just turn up the house heat

[Jerica Phillips @Jerica_Phillips]

BEST STORY OF THE DAY: South Dallas middle school started a “Breakfast with Dads” program but many dads couldn’t make it and several students didn't have father figures. The school posted a Facebook request for 50 volunteer fathers... 600 fathers from all backgrounds showed up...

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Fuck I want remote start

[Selim Almeida @selimium]

Interesting🤔 https://t.co/6gdyOmE8k1

[d @sansrival___]

fuck this guy. and if you fuck w him then fuck you too. https://t.co/14S4l1iXTP