Sarah Moody

"There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them" she/her/hers

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Nice to see Pence at the debate tonight

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

I’m going back to my roots *only dating men with engineering degrees and rainbow keyboards*

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Every time I feel bad about not liking someone I remind myself that my dad broke up with a woman because she said Cher was pitchy

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Update: “Brings back back memories. Tea gives me bad vibes” - Olivia, Age 18

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Update: “it’s ok... it’s soothing and calming and I think I understand that more now that I’m 15”

[gerald stratford @geraldstratfor3]

I allways carry a vanity mirror with me if you come across a flower which is facing. Down put the mirror on your toe and put it under the plantyou can now se the flowers heart withoutbending down cheers

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a law clerk it’s how to make my email subject lines clickbait

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

There’s no bigger snitch than a dental hygienist

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

In the shower. Drinking wine from the bottle. Eating a subway sandwich. Thinking about how my apartment almost caught on fire and in my moment of panic I had the forethought to know I’d want subway when it was over.

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

My sweater was complimented by not one but two Trader Joe’s cashiers today so you could say I’ve made it

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

The queen is about to Brexit

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

But what is a champagne supernova?

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

I haven’t read the Silmarillion but I know in my heart that the elves hate the dwarves because the short kings were hotter

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

I may be a Des Moines 6 but I’m a Nebraska 9

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Do your friends look up your bumble dates on Iowa courts? or are they fake?

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Much to the dismay of some of my coworkers, I have successfully convinced the office legal assistant to play Taylor Swift over the sound system every Friday. What can I not do?

[The 1975 @the1975]

Your new album. Your new era. Your old friends.
The 1975
https://t.co/Tk3FMU5HLb

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Some of you never won personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut for reading and it shows

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

I knew I loved my cat but then he dragged a man’s clothes into his litter box and I’m now obsessed with him

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

Couldn’t sleep last night because I was thinking about the Lowes cashier who offered to burn my receipt so I didn’t have to see how much I spent on plants

[Sarah Moody @semoody1]

One like and I’ll drop out