Orlando chooses not to tell Dumas that he actually is licensed to officiate weddings in Snowfield (the mayor foisted the responsibility on him on one such occasion).
Dumas: Even if we skipped the themed ones & opted for the drive-thru wedding chapel, I don’t think it has wedding gowns your size.
Orlando: Why am I the bride?
Dumas: Francesca might threaten to make it a public event otherwise.
Orlando: Did everyone forget the Holy Grail War?
It’s June, Snowfield is the Marriage Capital of the World, and Dumas may have received silent pressure from Clan Calatin (which mainly exists in Dumas’ imagination) that in order to keep living with the Chief, Dumas must make an honest man out of him and restore his virtue.
Dumas: I know you’re married to your work, but it’s technically not polygamy if you get married to me.
Orlando: Why is my marital status under discussion now?
Dumas: I considered eloping but it’ll make Clan Calatin cry.
Orlando: Why are you roping my subordinates into this?
Both my sanity and my wallet dodged a bullet when Orlando is absent in that bunny-themed gothic-style merch, which is rightly the province of the younger characters.
Dumas wouldn’t be allowed to play in the casino, but at least he could have fun with the otaku in Clan Calatin, who would surreptitiously gift him a fan-made Orlando boob mouse pad in gratitude, with strict instructions to hide it from the Chief.
My headcanon is that Dumas has the average French interest in Japanese culture, which is to say, a lot (Jojo art in the Louvre, etc), and I think doujinshi is right up his alley. Orlando will just assume his purchases are book-related, but he’ll draw a line at buying goods.
Orlando: Just because I fund your expenses and let you sleep here doesn’t mean I’m having an affair with you!
Dumas: I get it, you want plausible deniability in case a scandal breaks out. I can be your lifelong personal chef who shares your bed.
Orlando: That sounds even worse!
Orlando: As promised, I would grant your requests if they’re within reason.
Dumas: Tonight, I want to sleep on Brother’s boob pillow.
Orlando: …I’m going to regret asking what that is, am I?
Dumas: One way or another, it’s going to happen if we have sex.
Orlando: Denied.
Dumas: I thought you were going to make it up to me for the dessert I spent hours making then ended up eating alone.
Orlando: Sex with you isn’t a reasonable request!
Dumas: Just because our adulterous relationship is platonic for now doesn’t mean sex with me is off the table.