Series A Crunch

Founder of a seed stage startup going through the Series A Crunch. Some of this is true, some is me using humor to mask the agony.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Investor: So are you one of those new "invisible apps"?
Founder: We must be because our users can't seem to find us.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

OH: "Quick let's pivot into an ad blocker and raise our 4th seed extension round!"

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

"Yes, but our solution uses machine learning...." #overusedstartupphrases

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

"This is just a small bridge round before our Series A which a sure thing." #overusedstartupphrases

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

"We wanted to nail the supply side of our marketplace before working on demand." #overusedstartupphrases

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

"Here's a bunch of numbers we made up and put on a slide." #honeststartupphrases

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

I'm going to keep delaying telling our investors the bad news. I'm sure that's what they prefer.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Current SV Checklist:
- Battery membership
- Humblebrag usage of Reserve
- Day breaker attendance
- Photo of expensive sushi
- Boating shoes

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Started at the bottom and now according to our metrics we are hovering slightly above the bottom. #traction

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

@StartupLJackson Manifest Destiny

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Cap table so crowded I need to take a shower after opening that file. #realtalk

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Good news team, @davemcclure has a new fund just for us: http://t.co/YVlYcMo815

Bad news, even Dave isn't crazy enough to give us money.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Overfunded startups: If you're looking for high risk places to store cash please consider our Series A round. https://t.co/774nqEVO5B

[Brad Feld @bfeld]

Feld Thoughts: Cash Policies for Startups http://t.co/Dcl8XsEOww

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Happy YC Demo Day! Looking forward to 70 more companies joining our special club in about 9-12 months...

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Investor: Are you optimizing for valuation here?

Founder: No, mostly optimizing for avoiding malnutrition.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

Every time two co-founders fight, an angel investor get their wings.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

OH: "Try not to think of it as a down round. It's more like a reverse mortgage. It's a good thing!"

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

The rent is too damn high in the bay area. At least that's what the coffee shop we now call an office says, IDK.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

@utekkare We just renamed our company Meerkat hoping for some wire related confusion to benefit our next round.

[Series A Crunch @SeriesACrunch]

@LauraBehrensWu Can't afford sleeves till the Series A. Will send Bitcoin invoice soon...