Dear England!
It’s true!
The whole Norwegian team are down!!!
4players with high fever
3 food poisoning
2 have lost their sight
1 has lost a leg
1 has lost his mind
If I were you. Save Kane and Bellingham for the semifinals
If you're home today and see your postie, delivery driver or waste collectors, offer them some cold water!!
I've offered all of mine cold water and an ice lolly, and they have all been really grateful!!
I ordered new fans, and I was grateful these guys are still working! 💕 #Hot
The year is 2029, fuel is £8 a litre, a 1 bedroom flat is £3000 a month rent, the retirement age is none existent, tax is now 60%, you need digital ID just to leave the house, car insurance costs more than your car, a full time job is now 70 hours a week, freddos are £12, England still haven't won a world cup, the DFS sale is still on and they're still doing roadworks on the fucking motorway
Shout out to all the single as fuck people who are in bed before 10pm on a weekend, eating snacks, watching Netflix, and scrolling through reels while wondering where it all went wrong and whether you're going to die alone with 10 cats. My kind of people.
Everyone banged on about doing “No Mow May” but nobody mentioned the following month would be “can’t bloody mow anyway because it won’t stop sodding raining for three seconds June”