Janet

a hella

[Janet @shan_brah]

Don't call yourself a birder unless you've properly identified the bird they called a "pygmy nuthatch" in the 2000s Charlie's angels solely on the fact that you knew that bird was not related to nuthatches whatsoever

[Janet @shan_brah]

Idk if I could be in a relationship with someone who prefers corn tortillas

[Janet @shan_brah]

Got a full waist down wax for my vacation which has only drawn attention to how hairy my feet are??

[Janet @shan_brah]

One of those "if I go to bed now, I can get 16 hours of sleep" kind of days.

[Janet @shan_brah]

I'll happily write a letter to congress however, I feel taking a shit on their doorstep would better convey my message.

[Janet @shan_brah]

It's just...dogs are good..but they aren't Loki...

[Janet @shan_brah]

I prefer the term walk jog because to say I'm going on a run is a graaaaand exaggeration

[Janet @shan_brah]

There was always that kid in elementary school that could blow bubbles through their eyeballs

[Janet @shan_brah]

There's a lot of girls out there not telling their bffs that their clip in extensions are showing 😔

[Janet @shan_brah]

I need to find the balance between starting my day with a vegan protein bowl, hitting all my macros, having that high fiber poo, putting meat eaters to shame, AND THEN, smoking three spliffs and calling dinner the two beers left in the fridge.

[Janet @shan_brah]

Butter beans are all the rage right now

[Janet @shan_brah]

It's 30 degrees but it's sunny which means it's sandal weather in Alaska

[Janet @shan_brah]

"Never go to Alaska as a young man because you'll never be satisfied with any other place as long as you live."

I was supposed to find this place...such a wild feeling to be so desperately in love with it.

[Janet @shan_brah]

"How gently do you want me to lick it!?" I desperately ask my vegan gum rolling papers that won't seal.

[Janet @shan_brah]

Pretty much every phone call I get from my parents sends me into a downward spiral wondering which grandparent is in the hospital, but usually it's just something like "did the 14 dollar zelle go through?" Cuz yeah 8 am is an appropriate time to call me with that question.

[Janet @shan_brah]

Treated myself to a little "running a stop sign" this afternoon 💁‍♀️

[Janet @shan_brah]

@CaseyAlena You're the only one keeping me on here

[Janet @shan_brah]

I'm glad my friends are more sober and stable now, but Twitter is so boring.

[Janet @shan_brah]

Wasn't even bringing a headlamp til he said something

[Janet @shan_brah]

Going to Belize with my love and he's bring extra batteries for our headlamps in case the storms are really bad and I'm just worried about keeping my chin hairs plucked

[Janet @shan_brah]

A day in the life