shan🩷

i like the red cars (nuke mercedes❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️) go birds fuck ice and free palestine

[Nifast🍀Greentail @NGreentail]

Turns out my comfiest nightly sleeping position is the “fuck you im going to kill you eternal irreversible doomsday hellfire spine damage” position so that’s cool

[Junka 🇭🇺 @the_junka]

you could genuinely be the most stressed in your life at 3am then a bug would show up in your room that you never even seen in your life

[ً @artfuIchaos]

honestly, most of my problems come down to two things:

1. ​i'm terrible at waking up.
2. ​i am somehow worse at going to sleep.

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

sometimes when i go shopping for tops, it feels like they just passed a law to make having big boobs illegal

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

come on gimme things to sort i’m so fucking good at sorting things i want to sort

[machine yearning eng in SF 8/4-8/28 @confusionm8trix]

getting off at 2pm is cool but waking up at 6 directly into work for eight hours sort of feels like living a nightmare every single day

[ً @artfuIchaos]

everything used to be 20 dollars and now that i finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

[kali ⋆ (ms. dopamine) @ms_d0pamine]

when trump dies the first thing im doing is opening twitter

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

i understand chex mix is going to prioritize chex, as the name suggests, but sometimes the number of pretzels, breadsticks, & cheesy crackers is so low that i stick my hand into the bag like a desperate pioneer panning for gold & i just come up with a fist full of river gunk

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

Gum technology has completely stagnated. No progression in decades. The flavor should last minimum 8 hours by now. Ludicrous

[tooflyszn @_tooflyszn]

took my own lunch to work and didn't buy a coffee today so i should be able to afford to buy a house any day now

[conor @conor_brn]

It must feel good as fuck to be an old man and dawdle around holding your hands behind your back

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

hey sorry i cant make it today i have my weekly scheduled Alone Time that if i dont stick to i start wanting to hurt myself

[cinco @buttabums]

i do not play about that toilet being closed when flushing

[Pukicho @pukicho]

You don't know hurt like I do. Bug bite. Weeaally itchy.

[hani @crucifynisis]

“do it scared” i do everything scared because i dont have a relaxed nervous system and it always feels like im held at gunpoint

[≧∀≦ @laeswrld]

genuinely how i feel when people say i look like my dad

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

bro did you rly just confuse bath and bodyworks and bed bath and beyond