I’ve always wondered why majority of the people I’ve met in my adult life have been avoidant women, couldn’t quite pin point what was attracting them to me but the moment I realized, everything changed
I realized why I kept attracting them is cos I gave without asking for anything in return. I meet someone and once I feel a little chemistry, I switch to caretaker mode, I validate them, listen to them, go out of my way to be there for them, create safety for them to open up and they do
But I do this not minding if they’re doing same for me, and honestly that’s one of the fastest ways to build exhaustion and resentment. If you keep giving, hoping they’ll give back, you’re wasting your time. Nobody recieved free money and goes “oh maybe I need to give him too” when the giver hasn’t asked for any
I’m now realizing I should have matched energy, I should have paced my emotional investment, should have given and waited to be given back cos that’s what a relationship is, reciprocal not one sided.
If you’re reading this and you can relate, stop abandoning yourself. You deserve to be listened to as well, you deserve to be validated, you deserve to have your needs met, don’t let yourself go without reciprocation. A healthy relationship is one where both people strive to be emotionally responsible for each other not one partner being responsible while feeling exploited
There’s an attachment style people rarely talk about and I don’t know why. Sure there’s anxious people, and there’s the almighty Avoidants but nobody talks about fearful Avoidants for some reason
A fearful Avoidants M.O is to test you, to see if you’re trustworthy cos their trauma is betrayal. They’d give you silent treatment so you come begging, (a test), they’d threaten to break up so you convince them you want them, (another test), they have so many triggers but they never tell you any cos I mean, you’re supposed to read their mind as their partner (yet another test)
It’s hard being with them but if they heal, they’re one of the best partners ever cos of how emotionally attuned they are
@DallasEatz@IamDearaa Try to find the older, more established spots when you come back cuz these alot of these new places focus more on vibes than food.
@DallasEatz@IamDearaa Irene’s is good to us but I can understand someone from Houston not being impressed because the seafood in Houston is fresher with the proximity to water.
@LadePlatinum It’s one of my favorite movies all time & that scene lets you know immediately that Sam finna steal every scene he’s in for the rest of the movie.