bars

bartender, league champ bowler, SoundCloud rapper, mr take your money in pong, remarkable karaoke singer, lead rebounder in any given game of pick up ball

[myles brown @mdotbrown]

If McCain played for any other team he'd be a lovable scrappy dog. But now he's just Hitlers corgi

[Bat Vibes @BatVibes]

Have you ever thought about the Pokémon definition of a “poacher”? It's basically just a dystopian corporate monopoly.

In the lore, you are branded a poacher simply for using nets, traps, or cages instead of a Poké Ball.

The entire system is a massive "Big Brother" compliance checkpoint:
• The Tech Monopoly: The law basically mandates that you must use patented corporate technology to legally interact with wildlife.
• The Global Registry: The real crime isn't the catch itself—it is dodging the database. Poké Balls automatically tag every capture to a centralized Trainer ID grid. Catching a Pokémon with a net keeps it completely untraceable and off the books.
• The Safari Loophole: People claim poachers are criminals because they over-hunt, but Ash caught an entire herd of 30 Tauros in a single afternoon. Because he paid a corporate entrance fee and used officially licensed Safari Balls, it was perfectly legal.

The Pokémon League just wants absolute regulatory control over a heavily monetized digital capture grid.

[bars @shanebars]

Drake dropped 3 albums??? Lucki picked the wrong week 💀

[Kevin Nealon @kevin_nealon]

When my son was 10, he recognized that I was an older father and he was not happy about that, and I never considered that.

I walked into his bedroom one night, I could tell he'd been crying, puffy eyes, tears stained cheek. And I go, what's going on, buddy? Because I don't know his name. I’m never home.

My son said, I've just been thinking, I'm 10 now and you're 63. When I'm 20. You're gonna be 73. When I'm 30. You'll be 83. You won’t be around for a lot of my life. I said. Buddy buddy, buddy. What's his fucking name. I said I’ll be around for a long time. Don't you worry about that.

I'll be around when you graduate. I'll be around when you get married, when you have kids, I’ll be around for all that stuff. You just gotta make it happen in the next four years. Otherwise, yeah, you're probably right. I won't be around. He said, no, I'm serious. Dad.

Dad? he doesn't know my name either.

[Dan Devine @YourManDevine]

At least a couple of times a season, I find myself wondering how it could be possible that a center as old as Andre Drummond is still in the league, only to look it up and see that he is 32 years old, a fact that seems to stand in defiance of all I understand about linear time.

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

draymond green versus dillon brooks with a chance to go to the playoffs on the line

the nba should allow them 9 fouls each this shit is gonna be a sledgehammer fight

[bars @shanebars]

I need chat GPT to make an instagram Venn diagram of women who want to cheat on their husbands and homies sending funny memes.

[kenneth blume @kennybeats]

We heard you’re gonna die alone

So we made the backseat of your car into a casket! Complete with a graffiti obituary on the roof! Under the steering wheel you’ll notic-

[larrikin @HELLLLHOOOOLE]

Got my horse to water. Now for the easy part

[Legion Hoops @LegionHoops]

The NBA’s expansion draft would be one of the craziest nights in history on this app

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

GUY WATCHING HIS SECOND EVER BAM ADEBAYO GAME TONIGHT: Hey man, what the fuck?

[Jackson Frank @jackfrank_jjf]

Well, that sucks. I took Bam Adebayo over 83.5 points tonight.

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

“Okay I drew two Dalmatians. Are we set?”

“Brother, not even close.”

[Big 🐰 @FreddieGibbs]

Everyday it’s a struggle to figure out what channel/streaming service these games on.

[bars @shanebars]

Can’t a man just watch a 12 hour PBS documentary about the revolutionary war in peace? Babe, If you really think you’re more important than what George Washington did for this beautiful nation of ours then our values aren’t aligned and I’m glad I didn’t text you back earlier..

[Berry ⏾ @auraonx]

I be like “i need to lock in” and it’s just me moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer

[bars @shanebars]

@zadcozzy Lame ass

[Lost Internet @LostMemeArchive]

smokin big doinks, 2017

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

“I’m pretty sure if there was some news about Jeff Epstein, I would have heard.”

Bless his heart.