Doom Shakalaka

Rabbit Hole Aficionado
Verbal Sunshine
Asshole Extraordinaire
Good Egg
Get it how you live it.

[Mike Morrison @MDMorrison82]

Lads we have a true emergency, shite. We got a mate lost his passport on the way to the game. Apologies to my brother/sister @MBTA @mbta_alerts social manager but the Wakefield bagpiper just sent me this. If Helen from Scotland can send me to the cup, we can do this. Cuz BOSTON

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a warehouse store. A fully roasted chicken costs five dollars, the raw chicken beside it costs seven, and I stood between them like a man between two truths.

Golden. Hot. Seasoned. Spinning in glory under the lights, in a line of its brothers. Four dollars and ninety-nine cents.

I checked the raw birds. Seven dollars. Pale. Cold. You must do everything yourself.

This is not commerce. Commerce does not move backward. Somewhere in this building, mathematics lies defeated.

I asked the man at the counter. "How is the cooked bird cheaper than the raw bird?"

"Been five bucks forever. They keep it that way."

"But the store loses."

"Yep. On purpose."

On purpose. I held my receipt with both hands.

In my land, a lord who lowered the price of rice in a hard winter was remembered for generations. They built him a small shrine. This store does it every day, with chicken, and tells no one.

A woman behind me grew tired of my reverence. "It's just a chicken, sir."

It is not just a chicken. It is a wound the merchant takes on purpose, so that anyone, on any day, with five dollars, eats like a lord. The bird is the message. The price is the vow.

I will confess: I bought two. I did not need two. The second was not hunger. It was gratitude, and it was delicious.

Some prices are not prices. They are promises.

I return every week now. I take one bird. I bow toward the deli, briefly, so as not to alarm the staff. They have begun nodding back.

The vow holds. The bird turns. Five dollars.

Long may it spin.

[jame @kloogans]

i ate a bunch of these as a kid and i haven't been sick in over 20 years. i've never had surgery. never had a cavity. never broken a bone. all 3 balls are fine. never been in a car accident. never been arrested

[Ryan Foster @ryanlfoster_]

My daughter gonna look sick shitting her pants in these

[Jeff Dye @JeffDye]

😂😂😂

[crochet with ashme @ashmecrochet]

Apparently rain means no 12-hour stream, no health arc, cannot even step outside….

And sun means the same thing

[Toronto Police @TorontoPolice]

News Release - Missing Person, Yonge Street and Finch Avenue West area
https://t.co/Wl1VxMl2y1

[paulwall1970 @paulwall1970]

#caturday

[Doom Shakalaka @shanee72]

Crackheads went and ruined a good thing.

[Jedi @dhe3g]

Architecture was better when the cocaine was clean and people prioritized spaces where they could stay up and talk all night

[Doom Shakalaka @shanee72]

🤣🤣🤣

[SassyKat @SassyKat100]

#foodiebeauty

[Rentayn @TheRentayn]

cat that controls its owner

[Theo Von @TheoVon]

Are yall meetin women at Barnes an Nobles or where at? #curious

[Doom Shakalaka @shanee72]

@ytunderground23 The antibiotics she's on should clear up that problem.

[Doom Shakalaka @shanee72]

@with_ballz @duggarfam Is it a full moon? ALL my LOLcows are mooing!

[Paul Bronks @SlenderSherbet]

Me: "I need to get out more, meet new people"

New people: Hi

Me:

[Doom Shakalaka @shanee72]

Interview with actor Scott Schwartz https://t.co/uODehah0R2 via @YouTube

[Doom Shakalaka @shanee72]

I'm enjoying watching people's reactions to Toronto on YouTube.

[Dudes Posting Their W’s @DudespostingWs]

-Squatters took over his mom's house
-Didn't know how to get them out and discovered how difficult the legal process can be for homeowners
-Found a legal workaround where he could move into the house himself and essentially become the squatter's new roommate
-Realized this was a much bigger problem than most people knew
-Started making videos helping homeowners get their properties back
-Went viral
-Now has a reality TV show where he travels the country out-squatting squatters

[Toronto Star @TorontoStar]

Accused in Toronto cop's death had been working for gun-for-hire network suspected in GFL, tow-truck shootings: sources https://t.co/zi9gZSPaqS

[Emelehleh 😈 🔜 DBD MTL 10TH ANNI @thest0ryofemily]

My Canadien homies!!! I want it to be known: this silly American gal has bought and proudly consumed POUTINE!! and I freaking LOVE IT 🤤🇨🇦