Shane Mitchell

WHAT.

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

@byrdala the concession stand at my hometown’s baseball field is called “field of creams” and this revelation just makes that name grosser

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

@byrdala I lost almost all my mp3 files from high school/early college in a laptop death and there was a point in ~2014 where I realized I had to either 1) pirate and edit an mp3 in order to remake the ringtone I had or 2) perma-vibrate

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

@MooMooProblems @gabbierotts mooooo(n landing was faked)

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

@byrdala

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

@byrdala this is why I commissioned Tiffany’s for a silver straw #sustainability

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

my favorite springtime activity is to get in the wrong lyft and spook some bros: you will NOT tell me this is NOT my lyftline!! take me to tacos

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

why does my seltzer have a “serving size?”

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

I can’t believe I’m the only one wearing a suit at this McDonald’s

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

Daylight Savings Tim—you rat bastard! you stole my sleep!

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

nose hair is the Final Frontier of “facial hair”

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

shoutout to pants, perhaps the greatest sartorial innovation of our species

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

UPDATE: my stomach hurts

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

I just drank coffee for the first time in 3 1/2 years and I feel like I can do ANYTHING

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

@buenoIsHere GET. IT. ANDREW.

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

SPICY UPDATE: the half-eaten banana was gingerly placed in a Michael Kors shopping bag, presumably for later consumption

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

sometimes when you’re on the train to Newark you see an old man feed an old woman a banana, and that’s okay #BrickCity

[Shane Mitchell @shanefm]

overheard: “I mean, I hate PDFs but kinetic books are so expensive” #KINETICBOOKS #science #modernity