shapegrifter 🌊

alchemical debauchery

[Richard D. Bartlett @RichDecibels]

one time while tripping I lost contact with all concepts, my wife was there but I couldn't remember who or what that was, so I had to manually reconstruct her from first principles. I got: 1. smaller than me 2. soft 3. likes lemons. this is still my working definition to this day

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

@eris_nerung i’ll have to do the thinking but my lazy ass says 4 based on vibes alone

[Abstract Fairy @AbstractFairy]

@nosilverv I think the failure mode of vulnerability slop is that it glorifies trauma dumping and not much else

like, being playful is intimate, standing up for what you believe in is vulnerable, and being disciplined is important, but they don't seem encouraged

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

whatdatmeanGPT

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

I’d be less stubborn if you made me feel understood

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

@noa_tate_ during interview: sure i could share my screen but first i’d like you to share how you felt towards your mom growing up

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

@hazn_com i should log out because the rage do be baiting me

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

god i need to stop engaging in gender and dating discourse here. it feels like joining the politics. always need to do an aura cleanse afterwards from the self-induced ick

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

i have ended things when i felt like i didn’t feel excited talking to someone and it’s grating to tell it to reel-brained well-meaning friends that i am not rejecting the boring because i want chaos in my life. what is the point of being with someone if i am not excited by their company? since i am not a guy, i don’t need any placeholder as a cum rag either so

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

another such common advice is “date a boring guy” sorry, but are you stupid or just semantically retarded? or do you not realize that not everyone means bpd level instability when they talk about being with someone they’re excited to be around?

nothing in my life is boring. even when it’s monotonous, i find silly things exciting. all my friends make me feel excited and they should! all my lovers have lit me up and they should! what is the point of living if i don’t feel stimulated? now i understand the sentiment but can we please stop calling mentally stable people “boring”? you can be with people who make you feel relaxed AND lit up and alive. stop creating dichotomies that don’t necessarily exist.

[Callan @callanable]

hey, traumatized people!

if you find a piece of relationship advice comforting, it might be a sign it demands more scrutiny from you.

personally, I gravitated toward anything that validated my (frankly) abhorrent circumstances. maybe something to pay attention to. examples:

"real love is a slow burn." → great for someone who confuses infatuation with love, and bails the second the spark fades. terrible for someone using "slow" to mean "there was never anything here."

"you don't need physical attraction to build something real." → useful if you discard good people over chemistry. devastating if you've never felt it and have built a whole virtue out of not needing it.

"lower your standards." → aimed at the person with a 40-item checklist. but if your bar is "isn't overtly malicious," pickiness isn't your problem.

"if you wait for certainty you'll wait forever." → for the person with cold feet who is hesitant to commit. not for the one overriding a constant, visceral no.

"every relationship takes work." → true. also the exact sentence that keeps some people somewhere it's all work and no relationship.

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

@cyanopsis yes, i always feel murky afterwards. i believe this is what post nut clarity feels like?

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

many cases of interesting people living boring lives and boring people living glamorous lives.

[Literarium @Literarium12]

Anne Sexton

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

bumping into someone and saying why yes, i conjured you up

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

phone bad computer good

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

am i experiencing derealization again or does everyone else also have toy memories for all the years after covid except for 2023

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

@reticentdelhite tl;dr tension is at the heart of flirting

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

being stuck feels like either you’re blind to a keyhole everyone else can see or you see keyholes others don’t know exist

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

idk if this is a gendered thing because i am terrible at realizing i am being flirted with when the flirt is what i think is a notflirt. usually, notflirts fall into the category of 1) compliments where the conversation ender is a simple thank you 2) expressing your desire for a third thing that happens to overlap with what i have to offer.

i am great at flirting and enjoy it very much when the flirt is what i consider to be a flirt i.e. the statement contains tension, there is an invitation to play passing the parcel. otherwise i literally have my blinders on.

[Vanessa @Nessakins_]

Fellas, how obvious does a flirt from a chick need to be for you to recognize it? 🤔

[shapegrifter 🌊 @shapegrifter]

let’s demonize effort for the sake of effort