Allison

I'm allergic to the cats

[Allison @sharptoof]

I know lots of people HATE seeing the stuff they loved as kids redone all up in CGI n' shit but I'd be 100% here for someone taking an elaborate stab at Harry Nilsson's The Point. BIG TIME.

[Allison @sharptoof]

Honestly, it seems like crazy talk. @gothjones has been my 'BOYFRIEND' for 19 years, but that's obviously an understatement. ALL MY LOVE & to many more unquestionably beautiful moments 💖 8.01.05 +++Happy (almost) Anniversary, my love! 💕🥰

[Allison @sharptoof]

@menwritewomen I have long had a super power for estimating approximate volume in baking to swimming pool sized crap; liquid & powder. And I can understand my goofy cats

[Allison @sharptoof]

I outlasted my toxic boss at the company I work at! Thanks, Captain Planet!

[Allison @sharptoof]

Knowing how to cook & do a little recipe jazz feels like a superpower. I KNOW I can open a can of soup, BUT using up the windowsill tomatoes that we grew & having it taste EXTRA is just *chef*s kiss*

[Allison @sharptoof]

@costa_kout Which one?!🤔

[Allison @sharptoof]

@costa_kout August is going to make you suffer for this comment, BET

[Allison @sharptoof]

I bought some 'stuff' for the house, and the retail therapy boxes that just checked ...weeee! 😅🙆‍♀️👩‍🎤🚀👩‍🚀

[Allison @sharptoof]

I'm curious, but why haven't real estate MLS listings started reflecting 'stripper pole' in their drop-down filters. Feels like a missed opp...

[Allison @sharptoof]

@InsomniaInk Thank you. I'm def out there trying, but 'tis THICK with talented 'competition' for the good ones.

[Allison @sharptoof]

I need a new job. This boss is making me absolutely miserable.

[Allison @sharptoof]

@costa_kout Welcome to the 40s club! & Happy Birday!

[Allison @sharptoof]

@let_it_bea Hear me out - GRACKLES! they all died out a couple years back & I was super bunmed, but they are here again in a true rainbowy feathered force. Love em' even though they sound like garbage.

[Allison @sharptoof]

@5chw4r7z Oh man, the best kind of nostalgia. Retro gamers are jealous.

[Allison @sharptoof]

@tenderfern I'm so glad you can get there to 'say' goodbye & get those important hugs from those that loved her as much as you. I love you, safe travels 💕

[Allison @sharptoof]

@tenderfern All the space, love & grace in the world, Fern. Forever & always. I'm so very, deeply sorry for your loss & love you. 💕

[Allison @sharptoof]

@tenderfern I'm so very sorry, Fern. That's impossible and terrible. I love you.

[Allison @sharptoof]

@AlanAldathug Sorry about your thighs, but 5 inchers were the only correct decision. A fancy handkerchief may be the secret wave this summerrrrr💕

[Allison @sharptoof]

@jjdonkey Michigan, PNW & nor cal

[Allison @sharptoof]

Okay, I've truly hated this new job for a minute, but if they truly dare to schedule me for shit on a company paid holiday, even after I've stated I have clear computer-free boundaries on days off...I'm just not going. I don't care if I'm not celebrating anything.

[Allison @sharptoof]

I may be the only funny person at my new job & straight up I am already looking for something else. Honestly, I'm really not that funny, so it's a mantle I was NOT prepared to carry.