Shawn Andrews

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

In case anyone asks, tell them I’ve been an Inter Miami fan for years. I haven’t been, but I will have been. #InterMiamiCF

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

@WJSturm When do we start?

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

Thank you @ChickfilA for getting rid of large shakes as an option. You were the temperance I didn’t know I needed.

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

@hint lemon cayenne ever coming back?

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

@jandrewsatbbc TL;DR means too long; didn’t read. It’s something people write when they didn’t actually read an article, but somehow feel justified in commenting.

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

The Millenial's Exhaustive New Testament Commentary:

"TL;DR. But God probs just want you to be happy. Not judging=goals."

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

Having a bonfire tonight. It’s gonna be lit.

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

I don’t know what you’re whining about. A little pain never hurt anyone.

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

"What this means is not that America has become 'post-Christian' but rather that society is now in a 'post-pretend-Christian' state." https://t.co/7bsnBOEGvn

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

Pretty sure the opening ceremony is an episode of Floop's Fooglies. #WorldCupRussia2018 #spykids

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

What the cable provider said: Would you like to add a tv package to your internet?

What I heard: Would you like to pay three times as much as all your internet tv subscriptions combined for the privilege of having to endure commercials and waiting a week to see another episode?

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

“Trust me, I worked at Home Depot.”
-Hugh Jackman

#thegreatestshow

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

@GetAustinRhodes Your fans are obtuse. Obtuse is > 90°. Humans average 98.6° Therefore, we are obtuse. I can live with that.

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

@DaveRamsey What is the title insurance you mentioned on that last call?

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

@anandrews18 You'd better hurry back. I'm getting better at making food that isn't boiled eggs. This… http://t.co/ELmX7ht8ZO

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

Dietrich-or-treat Bonhoeffer #AddAWordRuinATheologian

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

Poly-gamy-carp #AddAWordRuinATheologian

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

A.W. Don't Tozer Me, Bro. #AddAWordRuinATheologian

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

Peter "the rock" Johnson #AddAWordRuinATheologian

[Shawn Andrews @shawnandroos]

Jerry Springer Falwell #AddAWordRuinATheologian