Shawn R Comedy

Comedy writer and screenwriter.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

Sometimes I can't decide if my tweets are more David Foster Wallace pretentious, or William Gaddis pretentious.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet I declared war on General Tso's army.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet I binged after watching "The Purge"

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

Time Lost Cats Found #TheInternetIn4Words

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

You Still Use A Blackberry #AndThatsWhyThisWontWork

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

I Tweet Hashtag Jokes Too Far After The Joke Has Worn Thin #AndThatsWhyThisWontWork

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

Grade Three Science #AndThatsWhyThisWontWork

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie words mixed up I.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I didn't realise I killed that guy with my selfie stick.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I divided by infinity.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I forgot how narcissistic it made me seem.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I laughed at Jimmy Fallon.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I forgot how much I over-worry about things and actually just lived in the moment and remembered to be myself

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I forgot to set the camera back to front view.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I knocked out Chuck Norris.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I forgot to check if my fly was done up.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I Fell Into The Open Casket.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie That I Photobombed A Wedding.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I accidentally invaded North Korea.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

#IWasSoBusyTakingASelfie I walked into a gorilla cage.

[Shawn R Comedy @shawnrcomedy]

Go Your Own Way (But I'm Going The Opposite Direction) #TitleOfMyBreakupSong