And you know what else is fuck up?. I saw his post a few years after. He already move on. It truly is different how people process guilt, while I was stuck and drowning in guilt here he is being happy.
Oh how fucking bitter I felt.
I was just so fucking pleased that somebody paid attention to me. That I created a bubble that separated my happiness and reality knowing that when it popped... consequence will be waiting for me in the end.
After that and with the overwhelming guilt I cant fucking let myself love again, knowing when I fell I become a Fool so who's to say that I won't do that a second time?!.
I wish you can put yourself in my shoes. Just for once. Baka lang makita mo yung pinopoint out ko na its not just about the chocolate. It's the fact na sana nagsabi ka. Yung maliit na bagay na yun na nagalit ka, yang konting respeto man lang sana sakin maibigay mo.
I got an interview on Friday next week. In attempt to leave my curremt Job. It will be vastly different. Its fully onsite for one. Am I ready to commit that kind of change in my life again?. Am I even capable of being outside the company I grew up in.