JD

Aggressively average.

[JD @shehoff97]

Disney channel should make a new show with Dylan and Cole Sprouse set in college and called “The Greek Life of Chad and Brody”

[JD @shehoff97]

Finally lost my UIUC email address, how do you know you’re still in the good old days before you leave them behind?

[JD @shehoff97]

Why are celebrities endorsing fast food meals? Like really this is the one product you choose to stand behind

[Yentl @QueerClassicist]

me age 6 receiving this exact book for christmas

[JD @shehoff97]

*Orders @caseysgenstore Pizza*
Store: “Yep it’ll be ready in 30 minutes”
*Waits 30 minutes, drives to store*
Store: “Soooo we haven’t started making your pizza yet, it’s gonna be about 30 minutes.”

Me:

[Ryan Brooks @ryanbrooks]

Ted Cruz packing his bags after being in Cancun for like an hour and a half

[JD @shehoff97]

@jack_geocaris

[JD @shehoff97]

What is Carbondale like?

Today I found a hitchhiker not suited for high speeds so I had to pull over and hand deliver him to a safe haven.

[JD @shehoff97]

My landlord exemplifies professionalism

[JD @shehoff97]

@jack_geocaris @HoodieDevin Gonna be a struggle for sure, but I think it’s a good start

[JD @shehoff97]

@paigewats I can empathize. Just disappointed by the frequency of its finding among people’s “top 3” traits 😂

[🐣 @JuiceKing5x]

Being up late ain't even fun no more this shit annoying

[JD @shehoff97]

If you listen closely you can hear high school biology teachers across the country imploding.

[Josh Marshall @joshtpm]

Trump: "Antibiotics used to solve every problem and now one of the biggest problems the world has is the germ has gotten to brilliant that the anti-antibiotic can't keep up with it."

[JD @shehoff97]

@k__somm @andy_somm20 OG Minnow Gang 🗣🗣🗣

[JD @shehoff97]

@jill_runyon Legend

[JD @shehoff97]

Paying rent mid-Quarantine be like:

[JD @shehoff97]

@claire_kredens @KAMSILLINI Minimalist design? Check.
Small front pocket design? Check.
Repping Kam’s incognito? Check.
Shirt confirmed as perfect.

[JD @shehoff97]

@logbax6 Netflix creates original content and Hulu just stands there like a bad hype man re-shouting what you already know with their re-runs.

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Dr. Fauci every time Trump speaks

[Wayne @Toaster_Pastry]

I attended a Zoom meeting of doctors who, as a subculture, is not used to technology (we are the "Reply All" crowd), nor understands the "MUTE" function. Some guy in the middle of the meeting says, "This guy's a fucking idiot." And that ended the meeting.