She Is Not Your Rehab

#1 BESTSELLER BOOK NZ Fighting the epidemic of Family Violence. Creator @myfathersbarber

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

There's a major problem when you expect your partner to fulfil every role in your life, instead of stepping into that role yourself. I've learnt for myself that no one soul can ever be everything to us.

[David Mandel @davidgmandel]

Trauma-informed is not domestic violence-informed. We need both. @safeandtogether #coercivecontrol #FixSystemsNotSurvivors

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

• Changes in consumption patterns from, for instance, the higher cost of living for women who live alone to escape violence costs $705.5 million.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

A report commissioned by the Glenn Inquiry in 2014, estimated the economic cost of child abuse and intimate partner violence in New Zealand between $4.1 to $7 billion per year and rising, estimating the cumulative cost over the next ten years would approach $80 billion.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

• Transfer costs to the economy from benefit payments, ACC compensation and lost tax revenue are $582.3 million.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

All I ever wanted was for Mum to be safe from Dad. If she was safe, so were we. Our story went on too long because Mum didn’t know she could leave. She tried so hard for years to save my Dad from his pain. All that happened was his pain became her pain, and that became our pain.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

Trust should be built in increments. People should not be dismissed before they are given an opportunity to show who they are. But nor should anyone be trusted in all things immediately.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

Cycles repeat until one person has the courage to say: ‘This shit stops with me’.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

‘Through my own journey I’ve learnt that my pain has actually been the biggest invitation to heal.’

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

I know with absolute certainty that for you to inflict or project pain onto her, you must be in immense pain yourself.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

SHAME magnifies in secrecy.
It ruled my life until I was met with
understanding and empathy.

Choose wisely who you share your
SHAME with, they have
the power to heal or hurt.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

As long as you hate yourself, it will never be possible to be patient and kind to any child who reminds you of you.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

Vulnerability can often be mistaken for weakness, but I assure you there is nothing weak about a man who has the courage to own his own baggage, and begin to address a way of living that currently is not only hurting those around him but is destroying him from the inside out too.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

A healthy relationship is about an equal partnership of mutual respect.

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

‘Not everyone is worthy of our trust, and that is honestly why it is so much better to start any new relationship slowly.’

[She Is Not Your Rehab @sheisnotyour]

Find the courage to heal your wounds before you do what has been done many times before: continue to transmit your hurt and your trauma to your children or partner.