Shelby Jackson

searching for the Way

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“He is a good man who can receive a gift well.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

By understanding the heart of the underlying psychology at play, even while others bounce around its edges, you are well positioned.

A simple “thank you” is all that’s required.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“It is not the office of a man to receive gifts. How dare you give them? We wish to be self-sustained. We do not quite forgive a giver.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If I want something, I will go and get it myself. Do you think I cannot afford it? Do you consider me to be incapable? Incompetent?

Sometimes, this is the case. Most often though, the aforementioned selfishness of the giver is to blame.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“The only gift is a proportion of thyself.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why do we give gifts in the first place? Forget the tradition. Why do we give anything of value to another?

It’s selfish. We want others to understand how we feel about them. We want them to know that we find them to be important. Notice the subject-object relationship.

Therefore, the only gift, if it is to be a true manifestation of its name, must be of your essence. “Thou must bleed for me.” Emerson says.

If my gift if not of my nature, if it does not exhibit that which makes me an individual and the toils of my unique skill, then it is cold and dead.

You may still deploy such gifts. Many of the gifts you give will be of this nature. See them for what they are: an obligation.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“Next to things of necessity, the rule for a gift, which one of my friends prescribed, is that we might convey to some person that which properly belonged to his character, and was easily associated with him in thought.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I saw this and it made me think of you.” Said plainly and with calm eyes. This is the true nature of a gift.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“If a man should send to me to come a hundred miles to visit him and should set before me a basket of fine summer-fruit, I should think there was some proportion between the labor and reward.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This applies less strictly in today’s world of ‘seasonless’ fruit.

Image instead that you visit a friend and come to find that they’ve baked you a cake. Whether or not you enjoy the type of cake they’ve made is irrelevant. An observant person will draw a correlation between the intensity of the act and the importance of the meeting.

Remember, though, that the importance of the meeting is not necessarily predicated on you, even if no one else is present.

People find joy in self-aggrandizement.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“Men use to tell us that we love flattery even though we are not deceived by it, because it shows that we are of importance enough to be courted.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

People of real influence live under a barrage of compliments. An easy rule of thumb is to simply say, “thank you.”

Regardless of the veracity, sincerity or sarcasm of the compliment, simple gratitude is disarming and empowering. It also avoids unnecessary contemplation or discussion.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“If at any time it comes into my head that a present is due from me to somebody, I am puzzled what to give, until the opportunity is gone.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s the schedule of gift-giving that sanitizes the mind. Parents were greedy in their creation of Santa’s list because it forgave them the need to think.

Generosity towards another ebbs and flows. It cannot be called on command by the proceedings of a calendar.

Why should I suddenly manifest a fitting gift on your birthday if it’s been two weeks since I’ve thought about you at all?

Similarly, why should I not bring you a gift unprompted if something should catch my eye or spark you to the front of my mind?

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy; that the world owes the world more than the world can pay, and ought to go into chancery and be sold.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Financial debts aside, we’d all do well not to make undue promises to our neighbors. Flattery is all together too commonplace in our world.

Kindness is truth. Niceness is a lie.

Speak truth and be a man of your word.

Kindness/Niceness

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“Standing on the defensive indicates insufficient strength; attacking, a superabundance of strength.” - Sun Tzu

If we’re afraid to act, it’s easy to convince ourselves that a stern face and a stoic brow conveys strength. And sometimes it does.

But the enemy knows when they are vulnerable. They will accept a certain amount of inaction as the result of their own diffusive measures. After a while, though, they will begin to see your inaction as weakness. They will poke and prod in an attempt to garner a reaction.

If always still you stand, soon you will be destroyed.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“If asked how to cope with a great host of the enemy in orderly array and on the point of marching to the attack, I should say, ‘Begin by seizing something which your opponent holds dear; then he will be amenable to your will.” - Sun Tzu

A siege only works because people have a need for food.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“If soldiers are punished before they have grown attached to you, they will not prove submissive; and, unless submissive, then will be practically useless. If, when the soldiers have become attached to you, punishments are not enforced, they will still be useless.” - Sun Tzu

As a business executive, if you take over a new team and immediately castigate its members for their prior poor performance, they will never respect you.

Take some time and get to know people on a human level. Understand their motivations and drives. Listen to their complaints and advice. Watch them. Let them tell you who they are. Ask them what they need and see how you can deliver.

Once you’ve proven yourself to be an honest advocate for their own needs and those of the company, they will prove to me more resilient to criticism and receptive to instruction.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” - Sun Tzu

The annual Mr. Olympia contest was held this past weekend in Las Vegas to determine the best bodybuilder in the world for 2024.

Even though they are nearly chiseled out of stone by the time they arrive, there’s a reason why the competitors don’t walk around topless until the last moments leading up to their on-stage reveal.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

Short story inspired by The Art of War

https://t.co/FTKH6t2Yeo

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign.” - Sun Tzu

As a parent, don’t call yours kids and dictate how to navigate their college career.

As a CEO, don’t impose your proclivities on your employees to the detriment of their own creativity.

As a leader of nations, don’t handicap the people in favor of your top contributing constituents.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.” - Sun Tzu

It’s hours in the gym that prepare a man for battle. If you make yourself strong, the world can seem light. If you stay prepared, nothing can throw you off course.

If you slacken your training in times of peace, the world will crush you in your sleep.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.” - Sun Tzu

Culture is king.

Show me a company that has succeeded in some domain and I will show you one that has more harmony than antagonism.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces.” - Sun Tzu

A well-rounded and effective CEO will have built himself up from nothing. Rarely is the nepotistic inheritor hailed by posterity as a greater man than his father. There are examples, but they effectively prove the rule.

By struggling from individual contributor, to team manager, to Director to VP to General Manager and then, finally, CEO, one learns how to maneuver with all manner of forces and is thus prepared for anything.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.” - Sun Tzu

In the most recent presidential debate, Donald Trump was constantly goaded by Kamala Harris, most notably when she called out the pitiful size of his rallies.

Whether this was true or not is irrelevant. Trump took the bait and Kamala effectively distracted him from making sensible points or sounding in any way presidential.

Trump would have done better to heed the advice of Sun Tzu. Even though Kamala’s comments hurt his feelings, he would have scored more points by letting it go and hammering her on policy rather than rolling around in the mud of ego.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“The rule is not to besiege walled cities if it can possibly be avoided.” - Sun Tzu

Walled cities are fortified positions. There’s a reason Conor McGregor never tried to wrestle with Khabib.

When your enemy is best in class in any given arena, that is the wrong domain of competition for you. Find an area where you can create an advantage and attack them there instead.

[Shelby Jackson @shelby4jackson]

“Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.” — Sun Tzu

If you appear to be exactly as you are, everyone with a modicum of perception will understand your strengths and vulnerabilities. This is fine in family life.

Competition is a different.

If you’re an MMA fighter, perhaps rumors of a fictitious injury can bait an opponent into falling into a trap before the fight even begins.

If you’re a corporate executive, perhaps unsubstantiated news of a poor financial period can soften your stock price, leading to a big surprise and a healthy jump in valuation when the truth of your company’s true prosperity is announced.

If you’re a drug dealer (shame on you), perhaps a well placed double-agent can falsely inform your rival dealer that there is discord in your crew and, when they come to take your territory, you take theirs instead.